https://fb.watch/mjDHL25iin/?mibextid=Nif5oz

#rolling like a hot dog on the ocean floor#a state we can all aspire to

it is gorgeous

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

okay do yoh guys ever think about the fact that “high quality” is an actual descriptor like theres high quality tea leaves high quality fabrics high quality espresso beans etc but because of advertising everything that is said to be “high quality” on the package is just because it supposedly sells better. but not everything is high quality so it is a lie. a descriptor becomes meaningless because it sounds good. what if we were just honest. why cant you say this coffee beans arent the best but they will do the job. i would be happy with okay if it didnt lie

my autism diagnosis has nothing to do with this

Swagless and dripless . Just an average normal guy . Looks like you can move his white ass with the arrow keys. Nothing wrong with him

shirt

Rabbits are plantigrade, never stand on their toes and move by hopping.

-Rabbits not giving a shit about your laws of science:

Schmovement

bunny who moves like this just regularly

obsessed with this heraldic beaft i saw on twitter

California Quail (Callipepla californica), male w/ chick, family Odontophoridae, SW United States

photograph by Adam Skalzub

Okay now that I've made the joke answer here's the promised rant Venus:

Geologists fucking hate it when you call biological things minerals, and therefore rocks. This shows up a surprising amount, because a lot of rocks are dominated by fossils, though not what we'd think of as that.

Without getting into the definition of a mineral, which I had basically hammered into me and will probably go on about at some point, definitionally, nothing of biological origin is considered a mineral. Which means clam shells, coal, petroleum, amber, fossils, etc is technically not a mineral, and therefore not a rock.

Some people use the term 'mineraloid' for these substances, but I find that stupid too.

This entire classification system is also extremely stupid for two main reasons which are 1) limestone is not a rock by the strictest interpretation of this definition, but is generally grandfathered in because it's too important to get stupid about but 2) ice meets every definition of a mineral, and therefore a rock, but isn't considered one because it's too stupid to be considered such.

Leave it to academics to create categories that seem obvious but are actually arbitrary, hyperspecific definitions, with exceptions and asterisks, and leaving everyone unhappy about it!

psa

For anyone who doesn't know, cosmetic and hygiene products can produce bacteria and fungi after they expire, and the ingredients can break down and cause burns, rashes, and allergic reactions after this time as well.

To check if your products need to be replaced, you can look for a written date of expiry, or look for this symbol on the container. This will tell you how many months it's still good for after you open it and break the hygiene seal.

Like food expiries, it's not precise down to the wire, but it does give you a clear idea of how much time you have to work with it before things get icky.

If you're like me and forget how long you own stuff, I recommend writing down the date of opening on the container in permanent marker.

Sincerely, someone who found a lost bottle of shampoo from 2011.

terfs celebrating that the international chess federation has banned trans women from competing in women's FIDE competitions, because it's sooooooo feminist to argue that women are so biologically inferior and nowhere near as smart as men and thus can't play chess on the same level. girl that's not feminism that's literally just misogyny

they'll lick any boot that stomps on trans women

The situation is actually considerably more insidious than just saying that women are biologically inferior.

The reason why chess tournaments for women specifically exist isn’t because women can’t compete against men, but because professional chess has a rampant misogyny problem and female competitors often face horrific harassment from their opponents, coaches, audience members, media coverage, and international fans online. Many chess tournaments are actively unsafe for women, so tournaments specifically for women are to not just give them more attention and coverage, it’s also a measure to protect them from sexism and violence.

On August 3rd, an open letter from some of France’s top women players was posted on twitter, talking about the misogynistic harassment and sexual violence that women and girls face in the chess community and that many women are forced to stay silent about. It got dozens more signatures from women around the world. At least one person who signed it and one of the co-writers of the letter, Yosha Iglesias, is a transgender woman (and a very famous player).

For this new rule to be made almost immediately after women, including at least one transgender women, it seems like it’s direct retaliation for daring to talk about misogynistic violence. It’s also very blatantly shifting the blame for that harassment onto transgender players, specifically transgender women (though trans men are also suffering because of these rules), implying that removing trans women from one of the few spaces in professional chess that they can feel semi-safe will solve the issue of sexual harassment.

It’s punishment, plain and simple. Punishment for daring to speak out about misogyny, punishment for daring to speak out about transphobia, and punishment for daring to stand in solidarity with trans women. Women spoke up against violence and hate and the ICF responded by trying to drive a wedge between them, by pinning the blame on their fellow women and fellow victims.

And now, transphobes who have never once given a single fuck about chess or sexual violence among chess players are flocking to praise a transphobic decision that is only being used to further silence victims of misogyny and violence. They don’t care that the letter was made as an act of solidarity between cis and trans women over the violence they all face, they don’t care that this will only further hurt women in the professional chess community, all they care about is that it hurts trans people.

It’s crazy how there’s so much misinformation about Food. The thing we need all the time. Arguably the point of getting up each day. Fucking food. You’d think educating our young on this central component of life would be the sort of thing we’d teach them as kids, but nooo, I have to go reading up on zookeeping techniques for keeping and feeding large primates in captivity to get a straight fucking answer about carbon and phosphorus sourcing instead of a bunch of pseudoscience or fatphobia or classism or racism or just good old fashioned taboos! [Chews furniture] HOW DO YOU DEMONIZE THE POTATO

Big news from Tartarus I'm just so proud of him

guys ive j gotten some horrible news