Image of vicious fox cannibalizing its own

This is so dramatic

Stealing wealth from hard workers, no wonder the bald eagle is our national bird.

hi i just love sharing my fav scene from sesame street ever

big bird is canonically nonbinary

Same for Gonzo

He learned his lesson

Excuse you. Gandalf has never once learned any lesson. He’s against it, on principal.

Fairy Pools, Skye, Scotland, July 2016

Every single one of Hillary’s deleted emails is me sending her a neopets referral

I am so tired of this shit

Well damn sis okay I’ll stop sending u the referrals but ur gonna miss out on some fun games and neopoints

“My wife was tired of our dog sleeping in our bed at night. So i decided to build him his own house.“

My brother to his boyfriend: where are you going?

Boyfriend: well, I’M going SHOPPING. I’m gonna go buy MYSELF something for my birthday since YOU didn’t.

Brother: I told you, I got you a gift but it won’t be ready till Friday

Boyfriend : mhm, okay, sure

Me, knowing full well my brother got him an engagement ring and it’s getting sized and will be ready on Friday:

To answer all your burning questions……he said yes!!

HE SAID YES!!!!!

HE SAID YES!!!

HE SAID YES!!!!!!

UPDATE: they’re getting married in two weeks!!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈🌈💚🧡💙💜❤️💛🌈🏳️‍🌈

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

This is most hilarious thing I’ve read for lotr lore. It’s great haha

Anyway I think I’m the funniest bitch on the planet.

How are people rich in their 20s like what is that about

Today on Hozier liked

“aRe yOu WeARiNg a BrA?” why you tryna suck on my titty? mind yo business

what do people in their twentys do except go to the grocery store……….

sometimes we lie in bed paralyzed by the knowledge that life is neither meaningful nor enjoyable

and then we go get snacks

We forgot about it

I once signed up to participate in a study on how depression affects memory, forgot I was meant to go do it, and when I emailed to apologise to the PhD student running it she basically told me that a) she was very used to this happening and b) the weird irony of her theories’ correctness making it very difficult to arrange proving them had by now gone from infuriating to hysterical