Made my little Dragon a carrier, so happy I’m getting better at sewing. Can’t wait to see what else I create🤗

I’ve been finding myself sometimes focusing on the past, everything that was and everything that took place.

The freedom of happiness, young drunken adventures, friends with trust and unwavering honesty.

I’ve been finding myself feeling lost, wandering endlessly searching for those who once were. Searching in each person I meet, hoping for them to show a glimpse of those I miss so dearly.

While I’m proud of how far I’ve come, where I’m at in life, the progress and accomplishments I’ve made along the way. I miss having those close to share it with, fun random adventures, coffees with a twist, late night conversations that seems to drag on into the mornings.

I’m happy to be where I am, enjoying the moments of solidarity, sometimes I wonder if younger me saw where I was- if she’d be proud or a bit sad to see where we’ve ended up.

Living alone, providing for myself, pursuing and accomplishing everything I set out to do, not taking ‘no’ for an answer, getting tattoos, moving on with life. Yeah she’d be proud of that.

Letting someone control, hurt and borderline abuse me for a better part of 6 1/2 years. Losing all those close because of him, diminishing my light and almost all my self worth and self esteem. Picking myself up from the ashes and finally throwing him to the curb, allowing him to believe he had the upper hand. She’d be proud we got out, sad that her first ‘love’ was all a lie but screaming with triumph that we won, kept the apt, dignity and worked to build a beautiful life.

I’m now doing everything and more that he would stop, I’m living for myself and rediscovering my identity. Learning all over how to love myself without allowing others to define what I do, how to dress, which makeup to wear, what I chose to put on my body.. I need to let the past go and continue to focus on the future laid before me, understanding that not everyone wants to be your friend and sometimes those who do aren’t the ones who should be.