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Life but make it gay

@profoundchaosdumbass

He/They + Neopronouns, Asexual, Minor, Theater kid

Don't feel ashamed of doing "CHILDISH" things

•buy toys/dolls/crayons •play with Legos •play old videogames/dress up games •weave friendship bracelets •watch cartoons •use stickers •draw pics of your favorite characters

If it makes you feel nice, do it. Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.

You deserve to enjoy yourself.

Excuse me, you don’t PLAY with Legos, you create~

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“Oh that animal doesn’t LIKE you it just TOLERATES you” …..So? If that’s the most a non-social organism can feel towards you isn’t that just as special an honor as whatever it is you think affection means??

“This creature with no natural social instincts outside of mating allows me to freely interact with it, while causing it little stress” is fucking DOPE AS SHIT

also… are you SURE? like, we’re still finding out so much about animals. Wolverines fathers, who we thought were not involved in caring for kits, turn out to travel around and collect all their kits from multiple mothers and take the whole group out on camping trips. Some spiders have tiny frog pets (!) or group up to communally raise their young. Wild sharks, crocodiles, and snakes have formed strong, documented relationships with people. 

this man Gilberto (Chito) Shedden nursed this crocodile back to health after it was shot in the eye, and they were best friends for the rest of the crocodile’s life.

this python came in out of the wild as a baby snake and curled up next to the family’s infant, Oun Sam­bat (or Oeun Sambat?) and they were inseparable for 12 years

Cristina Zenato removes hooks from sharks and they let her stick her hand down their throat to do it and they even bring other sharks who need help to see her.

It’s a relationship that goes beyond a single helpful interaction. For example one of the sharks that would show up when she first started swimming with them was a shark she called Foggy Eye who really didn’t like to be touched. One day, Foggy Eye showed up with a hook in her mouth that Cristina Zenato removed, and ever after, Foggy Eye cuddles when she visits, putting her head in Cristina’s lap and enjoying some petting

 We don’t know SO much. Some wolf spiders will adopt unrelated orphaned spiderlings and raise them. We recently discovered that the ant-mimicking jumping spider (below) produces “milk” and suckles its young until they are nearly fully grown.

SO. Don’t assume we know all about what creatures do or feel or whether or not they form social connections or bond with others.

We’re told octopuses are solitary.

That’s the story.

They live alone. They die alone.

Except for Octopus City where they live in a social collective.

Except that I watched with my own fucking eyes a giant Northwest Pacific Octopus who my friend social for an aquariums interact. He hadn’t seen her in a year. He reacted to meeting us and to getting treats? But all he wanted to do was see her, touch her, show her his enrichment items. After a year he recognized her and the response was “YOUR BACK AUNTIE YOURE BACK I MISSED YOU LOOK WHAT I WAS DOING WHAT DO YOU THINK BUT YOURE BACK hi nice to meet your friends YOURE BACK.”

Fucking yeah ok 👍 solitary nonsocial. Idk. If it acts like it loves you then it does. In its way.

The guy who literally wrote the book on wolf social hierarchies realized like pretty soon after publishing that he was completely wrong because he had only been studying animals in captivity, but the erroneous information on “alphas” captured men’s imagination so they still cling to it despite it being just flat out wrong - according to the guy who CAME UP WITH THE THEORY so you know it’s legit. Europeans who first encountered the platypus assumed it was a hoax. Knowledge is seeking the limits of our species’ understanding of the universe Wisdom is looking PAST the limits of our knowledge and staying fucking humble about everything we don’t know.

If Hugh Jackman can deadlift 405 pounds, he shouldn’t have settled merely for Marius. He could’ve picked up Enjolras as well. You know what, add Eponine. Street gamines can’t possibly weigh that much. Man let’s just add the whole of Les Amis (including Gavroche). It’s Hugh Jackman. He can take it. 

“yes my child I forgot what your booby of a young man looks like so please pick one from the pile”

*tries to subtly tilt the more sensible looking ones towards cosette* 

#but imagine him trying really hard to get her to choose combeferre

“Look, Cosette, this one is practicing medicine! And he seems to have an extensive reserve of facts on things from moths to space!”

“Papa, I think that is Marius beneath him.”

“No it isn’t. But look at this Combeferre, his glasses truly frame his face.”

“Papa-”

“Cosette. P L E A S E.”

The best part about this is that Valjean has no idea who his daughters dating, but damn it he knows it’s one of them, so he just takes everyone. The young doctor? Coming. The drunk one? Hopefully not, but bring him anyways. The small child? Might be the brother of whoever Cosette’s with, better bring him just in case. This young woman? Well, Cosette’s already proven she doesn’t tell Valjean everything, so she’s coming too.

And then the final confrontation between him and Javert. Valjean comes staggering out of the sewers holding a pile of people.

“IT’S YOU JAVERT, I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T WAIT TOO LONG!”

“Valjean, what the fuck-”

“THE FAITHFUL SERVANT AT HIS POST ONCE MORE!”

“How are you balancing all of them.”

“THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS GIRL AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS CHILD HAVE DONE NO WRONG, AND THE NEED A DOCTORS CARE!”

“I’m not dealing with this, just go.”

“COME, TIME IS RUNNING SHORT!”

“I said you can leave!”

“LOOK DOWN, JAVERT, THEY’RE ALL STANDING IN THEIR GRAVES! MAKE WAY, JAVERT, THERE’S ABOUT A DOZEN LIVES TO SAVE!”

“TAKE THEM VALJEAN.”

dont care + didnt ask + you know nothing of Javert + I was born inside a jail + I was born with scum like you + I am from the gutter too

L + ratio + I am warning you Javert + I am a stronger man by far + there is power in me yet + my race is not yet run

As someone who falls into 3 of these categories, I feel very called out by my own meme 😅

Alt text:

A meme image of 4 arms / hands reaching out & grabbing another hand's wrist, forming a kind of square.

Hand 1: Trans & non-binary folks

Hand 2: Bi & pan folks

Hand 3: Aro & ace folks

Hand 4: Neurodivergent folks

In the middle between them all: "Wait… doesn't everyone feel this way?"

There is so much more I could say about this, but there is not enough room. Remember to check with reality rather than believing conspiracy theories promoted, supported, and funded by white nationalist hate groups.

Missouri is proposing 20% of the nation’s anti-trans legislation this session. Gender-affirming care for young folks is on the edge of being criminalized (so much love to trans friends in states where that has already happened).

Please keep up with the anti-trans legislation in your state and combat it. There are lives at stake.

Transphobes do not touch this post.

Image ID: a 10-image cartoon comic featuring Joey, a boy with short hair.

Image 1: Joey, upset, gesticulates towards an open laptop. Text reads: The reality of St. Louis trans kids. Last week, a former (non-medical) employee of Washington University’s Pediatric Transgender Center was featured in a viral article about how the clinic was “rushing” kids into medical care and “mutilating” us. Every single thing she said was a lie, but the media loves it. Footnote reads: I wouldn’t give any more attention to this, but it is immediately endangering the lives of trans people. Missouri has launched a state investigation and is actively attempting to criminalize gender-affirming care based on conspiracy theories.

Image 2: Joey points to a map of the United States where Missouri is singled out, and a map of Missouri where St. Louis is indicated with a star. The text reads: The Transgender Center, located in St. Louis, Missouri, has been the target of hateful attacks from the far-right state legislature for years. It is part of Washington University Hospital, a branch of a prestigious private university.

Image 3: A younger Joey injects his T shot in his leg while someone takes a photo. Text reads: I can tell you that everything in the article is false because I received care at the Transgender Center beginning at 16 years old. My medical transition has brought me nothing but joy. What a gift it is to be trans!

Image 4: A younger Joey sits on a couch and stims with a tangle fidget toy. Text reads: No one is “rushed”. I sat on many waitlists, had to have 6 months of specialized gender therapy and a diagnosis of gender dysphoria before even being referred to the Center, and I was denied as “not ready enough” by an endocrinologist the first time I finally got an appointment. Footnote reads: If you’re curious about what it looks like to be a trans kid, I did another piece on that! Check out tinyurl.com/transkidscomictumblr.

Image 5: A colorful map of the United States shows how many states have a Negative Gender Identity Policy Tally and how many states have criminalized gender affirming care. Joey holds a credit card. Text reads: St. Louis’ Pediatric Transgender Center is the only one in the region, meaning the waitlists are extremely long. Plus, no one in the only industrialized country without free healthcare is getting medical care for fun. Many American trans folks have to fundraise for our care.

Image 6: Joey, distressed, sits on a couch while talking on the phone. The person on the other end says: “That’s me!” Text reads: This former employee spoke about specific cases, and patients have been able to identify themselves. She shared our private medical info and called us horrifying.

Image 7: This is split into two panels. In the first, Joey holds up a box of condoms and a packet of birth control pills. Texts reads: She especially hated trans men such as myself, saying that trans ideology was destroying “girls”. She lamented about hormones making us “sterile”, which is a complete lie. We trans mascs have to actively prevent pregnancy. In panel two stands a doctor. Text reads: Every time I had an appointment at the Center, doctors reminded me: Remember: testosterone is not a contraceptive! Footnote reads: The wonderful Erin Reed wrote a breakdown debunking all the lies in the article. See tinyurl.com/erinreedmissouri.

Image 8: Joey, masked, sits at a circular table with his brother, an unmasked boy with fluffy short hair. Joey’s brother is showing him his phone. Text reads: Major newspapers continue to platform these complete lies because they bring in engagement and money. The Washington Post tracked down my little brother’s personal cell phone number to try to get in contact with our mom – the president of an organization supporting trans kids in Missouri. Freaky, right?

Image 9: Joey, looking disgusted, leans against a door frame while talking on a cell phone. Text reads: But no one wants to talk with me, the adult who medically transitioned at this clinic as a minor and has not “desisted” in six years. The Washington Post reporter, who didn’t know anything about trans people, talked with me for 20 minutes and used a sentence of mine in an article about “both sides of the debate”. She didn’t mention that this former employee is being legally represented by a recognized anti-LGBT hate group, nor that all of her claims are unsupported by reality or science.

Image 10: Joey looks angry and gesticulates. Beside the drawing are two photos of Joey, one of him happy in front of a trans flag, and the other of him drawing up testosterone to take his first T shot. Text reads: There is no debate. There are trans people, and there are people who want us dead. There is truth and there are conspiracy theories. Where is my viral article in a major paper?

Published Feb 16, 2023. End ID.

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don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

We are the Pride Knights, and this is our battle cry No enemy can shake us, as hard as they can try There’s a fire in our eyes that no hatred can kill A passion in our hearts that’s as strong as our will To our fellow queers who fight their battles on their own We promise to fight with you, you are never alone To our fellow queers who have fallen with the pain We thank you for your courage, your fight is not in vain We are defenders of the right to be proud of who you are To love who you love and to accept every scar We are your knights, protectors of our pride Together we stand, together we ride

LIMITED EDITION: The Pride Knights Playing Cards are now officially available for pre-order in our store until June 30, 2023!

prideknights.com ⚔️🌈

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These are GORGEOUS. Ordered with the force of a thousand suns.

Guys! I wish I could order the whole giant pack they have! These are gorgeous and amazing! I will have at least one set lol.

if you remove the places most people walk around at they don’t walk very much

This reminds me of that one study on exercise that didn’t count manual labor in the workplace as exercise

I can’t believe people don’t walk very much except for the places they spend a lot of time walking at

🛏 15 minutes

A length of time 81% of people won’t sleep in a day - with the exception of sleeping in beds and the like.

Sleeping on furniture like beds and futons was not counted.

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.” 

“You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?” “Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.” “What, the molten rock?” “Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–” “You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?” “Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

Sounds like the “Damned” trilogy by Alan Dean Foster.

“And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

Being from Alaska, this was sort of how I felt going to college in the lower 48′s and learned that no one else had been put through a literal survival camp as a regular part of their school curriculum, including but not limited to:

1. Learning to recognize all forms of animal tracks in the wild so you can avoid bears and moose and search out rabbits and other small animals to eat.

2. Extensive swimming and climbing on glacial pieces with competitions to see who could last the longest, followed by a group sit in the sauna so we wouldn’t get hypothermia (no, not kidding, I really did this many times as a kid!)

3. How to navigate using the stars to get back to civilization.

4. How to select the right type of moss from the trees to start a fire with damp wood (because, y’know, you’re in a field of snow. Nothing is dry.)

5. How to carve out a small igloo-like space to sleep in the snow to preserve body heat and reduce the windchill so you won’t freeze to death in the arctic.

“I’m telling you, I don’t think we need to worry about territory conflicts with the humans. You know all those deathtrap hell-worlds in the Argoth Cluster?” “Those worthless rocks? Yeah.” “80% of them are considered ‘resort destinations’ by those freaky little primates.”

“I’m telling you, they terraform for fun!” “Don’t be ridiculous” “No, seriously. Some of their most celebrated cultural loci are built on swamps. They have an entire city that is literally in a body of water. Not, like, an artificial pontoon city, they literally sunk the foundations into water. For Grilp’s sake, they build elaborate structures out of frozen water AND THEN SLEEP IN THEM.” “Dear Thilak. Think we could get them to terraform our moons?” “Psh, they’d probably pay for the privilege.”

Eventually, it occurs to someone that humans are the perfect terraforming shock troops, as it were. They think it’s fun to be sent to horrible planets! They’re really good at surviving and then taming them! All you have to do is sit back and wait until the planet is habitable, and then move there yourself! It’s genius.

It only takes one try before the reality of the situation sets in: human definitions of ‘taming’ and ‘habitable’ are woefully incomplete.

“Why did you not eliminate the venomous plant life?” Grahssk’ti moans, clutching one limb.

“Those?” The human laughs. “Why bother? They’re not that bad. And they eat the mosquitoes.”

Grahssk’ti shudders. The ‘mosquitoes’ are… not to be mentioned. Just one swarm of them caused a landing shuttle to crash three planetary daylights ago.

“And the acid storms? Why did you not warn us of them?”

“I mean, they’re annoying,” the human says, shrugging, “but we figured the cool sunsets made up for it.”

Grahssk’ti flails helplessly. “What about the ten-meter tall Fanged Death Bringers? They can eliminate an entire settlement in under an hour!”

“They’re so cute!” the human says, brightening. “Have you met mine? Her name is Spot!”

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Humans are told of some planet or region of space that is considered “completely and utterly inhospitable - it would be folly to try and settle there.”

Without fail, a decent number make it a point to settle there because “Fuck You That’s Why.” It doesn’t matter how uneconomical it is, how difficult the conditions are, how utterly ridiculous it may seem, there will be at least one human who will attempt to do it only because someone else regardless of species says it is improbable or WORSE impossible. 

“This moon is still forming as such it is primarily soft - by that I mean most of the magma is close to the surface and-” ‘OH BADASS you mean its like Mustafar right!?!?!?! I’m totally going to build a castle there.’ “What. I mean. There is NO fertile ground there whatsoever. No ecosystem. It is molten rock and minerals only.” ‘Which will make my castle there look METAL AS FUCK am I RIGHT!?!??! Come on. COME ON. I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FISTBUMP COME ON.’ “….you….you are going to die, you know this right?” ‘I’m getting the feeling you don’t want to come to Lava Castle for some reason?’

“Listen, lad. I’ve built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was molten magma. All those aliens said I was daft to build a castle on a molten planet, but I built it all the same, just to show ‘em. It sank into the magma. So, I built a second one. That sank into the magma. So I built a third one. That spontaneously combusted, turned to ash, then sank into the magma. But the fourth one stayed up. An’ that’s what your gonna get, lad – the strongest castle in this solar system.”

“I’m gonna need for you to explain ‘hurricane parties’ to me again.  You humans have the technology to track these apocalyptic storms of wind and rain and predict where on the landmass they’ll hit up to a week in advance.  And you…have social gatherings during them?”

“Well yeah, but only up to about Category 3 strength.  Then it’s time to pack the car and head inland for most people, although a few hardy souls stick around and ride them out.”

“Oh good.  Category 3 is what again?  Winds up to 75 kilometers per hour?”

“No no, Category 3 starts at 175 kilometers per hour.  You left off the one.”

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I’m sure I’ve reblogged some version of this before, but I needed the STRONGEST CASTLE IN THIS SOLAR SYSTEM on my blog.

“This planet is so cool!”

“It’s a planet completely made of ice.”

“Yeah! Let’s send some scientists! Or I could be the youngest person there!”

“You’d die, it’s below freezing level!”

“But the blizzards are so pretty!”

“The storms of dEATH ARE NOT PRETTY!”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

“No, of course not.  Nobody ‘sent’ anyone, they just went up there on their own.”

“They WHAT?”

Oh my fuck nuggets, the actual thread

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I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS THREAD FOR MONTHS

This is truly amazing. I love humans.

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

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While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.

My reaction, only with coffee.

Hang on, need to send this to my literature prof

Purple is prose and as we all know

English is not a tongue neat.

Words are alive, and flexible, they jibe

And from our sick brains they meet:

Rhyming with purple to the lexicon burgle,

And remember there’s more than just herbal

We can color–empurple,

(Alternatively impurple )

And we can also enrage! Bepurple!

You can’t ride a horse without a good curple

Or you’ll fall and then walk with a hirple.

Don’t forget plurals, for varied are purples,

and besprinkle–that’s called disperple.

Even rarer are names

Although that seems strange,

Recall Burkel, Myrtle, and Urkel!

Watch out for the gods

Like Akkadian Nergal

You don’t want your blood to go curdle!

A husky is curtal,

And if unspayed is fertile,

But never as much as a gerbil.

With clothes we have kirtle

And don’t forget girdle

Or how babies will gurgle

I think we could keep going in circles.

Reposting this because a buddy was looking for ‘purple’ words this week.

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

ranibow sprimkle……..

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kepchup.

SPINCH

B A N C H

chichen nuggest

b R o G L e

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strawbebbies..

this post almost moved me to tears

*gasp* it is the fabled, the old, the ancient

I just noticed the chichen nuggests aren’t even chicken nuggets. They’re onion rings.

OHMYGOD. 

Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!

WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board

BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!

Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.

OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE!

…Seriously?

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

PANTS???

CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!

Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1

Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?

Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!

I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!

what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!

omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry

SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!

THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman!

theres a dead body

why are people even questioning obesity in america

why is your tea liquidised?

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

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like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

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England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[skeletons ooh-ing]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

Englad doesn’t own anything

except that time we owned most of the world

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If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

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And this is why I love Tumblr

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Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

I only see this on pinterest omg….

BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST

“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks

this post is a wild ride from start to finish

I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!

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😂😂😂

Cold tea

Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk

Cold coffee

I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???

YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???

Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?

Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀

I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog

Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now

I don’t even know what to say…

i drink iced tea every day >:)

Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too

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Behold concerned Brit

World War Tea Situation

This post is a relic

Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post

date of origin: November 5th, 2013

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The legend has crossed my dash.

I have never seen this post and I’m so glad I have now 😂😂

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid

taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 

every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again

and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.

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I don’t see how this is much of a downside

When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered

~cosplay

~Halloween costumes

~acting

~cosplay

~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces

~cosplay

~cosplay

~COSPLAY

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”

“Don’t antagonize the fae.”

“I AM the fae, Susan.”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

Iconic post

LEMME BE A DRAGON I DONT CARE IF YOU KNOW ITS ME
I’ve seriously only seen screenshots of this post before though

This is legendary

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“I AM HERE FOR YOUR SOULS”

“George, did you forget your coffee?”

ok but like the only difference here is if you dont press it you cant shapeshift. theres no loss in pressing it

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Look I can’t shapeshift now, at least after I’ll be able to shapeshift

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

ask-omnipony:
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a goddamn hat.
Right..?
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

LOL

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

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Oh my God, there are so many new ones