This feels like the start to a horror movie and I love it

Me rn:

Tumblr Code.

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

date of origin: 2nd of july, 2012.

Bro what it’s the second of July 2020. Happy 8th anniversary of this classic tumblr post!!!!

And now its 10th. Yay!

Oh, just in time for all the twitter and reddit refugees!

There is a pretty simple solution to this.

Befriend women.

Don't pursue them.

Don't be their friend just so you can make a play for sex or romance later on.

Find women that you enjoy the company of and become their friend.

The more you are around women in a non-sexual, non-romantic context, the more comfortable you will be around women in general. You will learn how to not be creepy. You will get a better understanding of boundaries.

And... you'll have some awesome new friends.

I am so tired of this stigma that you can't have platonic relationships with people of a different gender.

Almost all of my closest friends are not men. I actually had a very hard time forming close bonds with other men. They all wanted surface-level friendships. They'd want to center the friendship around hobbies or interests and nothing else. I had a sports friend. A video game friend. A sci-fi friend. And if I ever tried to take the friendship outside those interests, they would get uncomfortable and change the subject back to the common interest.

I needed more than that.

Platonically befriending women was the best thing I've ever done. And because there is no awkward, anxiety-inducing romantic or sexual subtext, it is much less nerve-wracking to approach someone in friendship. It's also easier to avoid being creepy without those intentions.

I have these beautiful, loving, deep friendships. We joke around and have fun but we also support each other when times are tough. The key is making sure the emotional labor is reciprocal. Don't just unload all your shit on them. You gotta keep that even-stevens. It's also good to learn when you are just supposed to listen and when they actually want advice or input.

I have learned so much about communicating in general. I have no fear of being creepy to anyone.

And while my circumstances have prevented me from having very many romantic relationships, having women as friends helped me a great deal when they did occur.

It is also my hope that if more men befriend women, they will also realize that their friendships with men can be more profound and have true emotional depth.

This is all true and good, and also, a lot of men find that having female friends improves their romantic chances. Because female friends have female friends, and so you end up meeting a lot more women, in circumstances where they are more relaxed and friendly because they're around their friends. And if you're good to your female friends, they'll tell their friends that you're a great guy, and some of those friends might be romantically compatible with you.

I mean, you should make friends with women because there are a lot of women out there who would make good friends, not just because it increases your romantic chances, but if you also want romance, it's a good strategy for that too. Much better than treating women in general as weird mysterious aliens who are only good for sex.

woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery

From ancient to abstract, this one sure got around.

Japanese one made no sense to me until I finally saw the “sale sale/sasa lele” version. セール　セール。 But then it’s a meme so it has to be misspelled?  🤷‍♂️

tHERE ARE MEMES IN THOSE HIEROGLYPHICS

Ohhhhhhh…. Chinese and greek are my favourite, but there is more!

𖤐 WHAT ARE THE MEMES IN THE HEIROGLYPHS??? I MUST KNOW 𖤐

Happy Eid ul-Adha(or Bakrid, or Eid Mubarak) to any people of the Muslim faith this year! This is for 6/29/2023

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks = stotworks.

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Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

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A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

not a salt or a pepper, but a secret third thing

TL;DR - The third thing was Sugar. Not mustard, not paprika, not dried herbs, not something lost in the mists of time.

It was sugar, and there's historical proof.

*****

ETA: I'd put about 70% of this post together before @dduane said "Have you seen this?"

"This" was from @jesters-armed, in first with my notions about The Fifth Element Third Condiment, and even a mention that the posts were "...a bit long(ish)".

Ahem.

Yes they were, with no change here. You have been warned. :->

Well, okay, there's one change. The pix in this post are new and, combined with the illustrations in older posts, go even further towards confirming that what I once called a theory, I now regard as Fact.

*****

Here are a couple of 19th-century table caddies, proper name "cruet sets". Take a look at the labels. They answer the "what was it?" question asked by that TikTok in a single word.

Sugar.

Not just in English, Spanish too.

Azucar.

Even without labels to tell them apart and even when the containers were of matched size and shape, sugar-casters always had larger holes than pepper-shakers.

Sometimes not much larger, as here...

...but usually, like those below and above, more than big enough to ensure no confusion between sugar and pepper.

A container of similar shape with no holes, as in the set above, held mustard.

Mustard was never a shaker seasoning; it didn't work that way. Its spiciness doesn't activate until the dry "mustard flour" was mixed with water, vinegar, beer or wine and left to stand for several minutes.

This produced a runny-to-stiff paste which was at first transferred from pot to plate on the point of a knife, but soon got its own dedicated spoon.

There's a slot in this mustard-pot's side for a spoon, and the set pictured above may also have such a slot, unfortunately facing away from the camera.

A matched spoon became part of any mustard-pot set...

...and was such a uniform size that "mustard-spoon" was a recipe measurement along with dessert-spoon, tea-spoon, salt-spoon and even cayenne-spoon. (I've posted about cayenne as a table condiment elsewhere).

*****

Where's the salt-shaker in those sets?

When sets like those were in common use, salt-shakers weren't.

*****

So how did people use salt if it wasn't in a shaker?

In the Middle Ages and Renaissance salt was put out in ornate dishes called a Salt which were often spectacular works of art.

This was placed at the top end of the table where important people sat; those seated further down were "below the salt".

Later, and still nowadays in formal settings, salt went into smaller dishes - salt-cellars - which like mustard had their own spoons. These were set on the table between two or four guests.

They took salt with the spoon, and instead of sprinkling it all over, they made a little heap of salt on the side of their plate and added pinches as required with finger and thumb.

*****

The same side-of-plate thing is done with mustard.

English mustard is extremely pungent *, far more so than the Grey Poupon which TikTok Guy slurps so casually off his finger. A little can go a long way, too much can be overpowering, and slathering it over an entire plateful of food can make that food inedible.

(* I'm aware Chinese and Russian mustards are even hotter; they're not relevant here.)

I once had the educational (okay, also entertaining) experience of watching a friend from the USA putting Colman's English on their hot-dog as if it was French's Yellow, then taking a bite. Even then they were lucky, because mustard is hottest when made fresh and the shop-bought from a jar was much weaker than it might have been.

"Made mustard" of the kind which went onto Regency, Victorian and Edwardian tables packs quite a punch, and dishes of that period was far from bland; it took two world wars and their associated rationing to give British food its rep for being dull.

Here's an example of how mustard is used.

Even though it's from a jar and feeble by comparison with fresh-made, it's likely that most of this will remain untouched when the meal is over.

Jeremiah Colman, founder of Britain's best-known mustard company, was only half-joking when he claimed that the firm's excellent sales record, and his own fortune, came from not from mustard eaten but from what was left on plates.

Whether on the plate or on the food, mustard for table use never came out of a shaker.

*****

The TikTok cites Bill Bryson, an American writer who, though living in the UK and presumably familiar with local grocery shops, failed to connect the proper name of the shaker ("caster" - TikTok Guy uses the name himself) with a grade of sugar sold by Irish / UK shops right now.

Here are the three standard grades - coarse, medium and fine. Note what the middle grade is called.

""Caster" has become a single-word description for "fine-grain quick-melting fast-mixing general-purpose cooking-and-baking sugar" but is a literal description both of how it was used ("cast" as a verb) and the container ("caster") it was in.

*****

TikTok Guy mentions the "expense and effort" of using sugar.

Expense:

From the Middle Ages up to the early 1600s sugar was indeed expensive and only for the rich.

Good Queen Bess's teeth were in an appalling state because of her sugar consumption, and less-wealthy people sometimes blackened their (healthy) teeth, to suggest they too could afford enough sugar to cause rich-people tooth decay.

However, increased use of slave labour on sugar plantations meant the end product became more and more affordable, and by the mid-1700s sugar was no longer "a luxurious delicacy". It became a household staple, enough that in 1833 politician William Cobbett ranted about how overindulgence in sugary tea had sapped the vitality of the English working class.

His remedy was home-brewed beer, and lots of it (!)

Effort:

TikTok Guy uses the word as if it's something out of the ordinary, and seems unaware of how much physical labour - from preparing and cooking food to fetching water to washing dishes to tending the fire or range - went on every single day in a pre-modern-gadgets kitchen.

For instance, before electrical ease or hand-cranked convenience, whipping cream to thickness or beating egg-whites stiff enough for meringues meant thrashing away with a bundle of twigs "until it be enough", however long that took.

By comparison, breaking down a sugar-loaf was quick and easy, especially since there was a tool for the purpose called "sugar nips".

There's a set in one of the TikTok photos, though TikTok Guy didn't comment on them. He may not have known what they were.

Once nipped off, sugar chunks were reduced to the required texture with a pestle-and-mortar, exactly as was done with every other crushable ingredient in that period kitchen.

This and everything else wasn't effort in the way TikTok Guy thinks; it was just - especially if a mortar was involved - The Daily Grind.

*****

Conclusion:

I've posted about sugar casters before, and the first time (six years ago) was amusingly cautious:

Since then, backed with increasing amounts of hard visual proof as shown here and elsewhere, I've gone from caution to Certainty.

The "mystery" third container in table cruets was for SUGAR, with enough historical evidence in the form of specifically labelled and shaped containers to confirm it beyond doubt.

*****

And they all sprinkled happily ever after.

The End.

Me taking my hypothetical children to pride:

See that man in the dog mask? He's playing a game of make believe with his friends to have fun, just like we do! See how his tail is wagging?

See that man with a gun? He's part of a violent institution that serves the ruling elite and upholds white supremacy. Fifty years ago he would have been raiding all these bars and arresting us all. He could shoot you in the face right now and probably not even lose his job. If he tries to talk to you, remember to say, "I won't speak with you unless I have an attorney present."

Watch: John Cena continues, “So, let’s try this one more time. Close your eyes.” 

x

King

Worth noting that he protested loudly against the WWE doing a show in Saudi Arabia after the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, and the company retaliated by making sure he hasn’t been on TV or PPV since. Not fired, of course, so they can keep selling merchandise with his face on it (and keep him from joining the competition), just out of the public eye so he and his protests gets forgotten by the fans.

Picture that: an ubiquitous celeb and household name like John Cena basically got black bagged and vanished for speaking up for human rights. That’s the power of capitalism, kids

I do not know a thing about wrestling but I knew of John Cena because he was that famous, like the Rock or Hulk Hogan or Mr. T, just a massive presence and household name beyond the WWE. It only hit me from reading this post that one day I just suddenly stopped seeing or hearing about him in the media ever again. Is this fucking why?!?

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh

I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff

no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that

Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?

doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them

You will die in 7 days

It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right

Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I

You could if you weren’t a fucking coward

World Heritage Post

Art by coolfrogdude together at last

[ID: a comic illustrating the above thread as if it was happening in a theater. The users are mostly shaped like their icons, pukicho is a pikachu and hokuto-ju-no-ken is a gengar. The last panel is gengar looks back where a speech bubble comes out of the crowd to say, “you could if you weren’t a fucking coward.” /end]

I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this post

Magic of tumblr,

I am morally obligated to add the YouTube video whenever this thread crosses my dash

I’ve seen this thread more than a few times. But this is the first time I’ve seen this video. So thank you for your service.

the way he spilled...

The Simpson literally made a joke about this in 1997 this is a settled issue, stop giving power back to straight people

It is morally correct to be horny on main.

If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.

New copypasta just dropped

Same guy

I'm gray-ace but this puritanical thing is fucking exhausting, so for those in the back:

I like stuffing sopping wet holes with naughty objects and enjoy sucking dick and pussy equally. I slap tits.

I don't have any PICTURES of holes except my cats' buttholes and they're all minors. Sorry.

This is your warning.

just sayin'

This should be taught in school.

So I'm absolutely not an expert on the subject, and this post is just a bunch of thoughts I've been turning over in my head a lot, but: on the subject of Industrial Agriculture, the Earth's carrying capacity, and agroforestry

Writings from people who propose policy changes to secure the future of Earth treat energy use by organisms in (what seems to me like) the most infuriatingly presumptive, simplistic terms and I don't know why or what's wrong or what I'm missing here.

Humans have to use some share of the solar energy that reaches Earth to continue existing.

The first problem is when writers appear to assume that our current use of solar energy via the agricultural system (we grow plants that turns the light into food.) already is maximally efficient.

The second problem is when writers see land as having one "use" that excludes all other uses, including by other organisms.

The way i see it, the thing is, we learned how to farm from natural environments. Plant communities and farms are doing the same thing, capturing energy from the Sun and creating biomass, right? The idea of farming is to make it so that as much as possible of that biomass is stuff that can be human food.

So instead of examining the most efficient crops or even the most efficient agricultural systems, I think we need to examine the most efficient natural ecosystems and how they do it.

What I'm saying is...in agricultural systems where a sunbeam can hit bare dirt instead of a leaf, that's inefficiency. In agricultural systems where the nutrients in dead plant matter are eroded away instead of building the soil, that's inefficiency. Industrial agriculture is hemorrhaging inefficiency. And it's not only that, it's that industrial agriculture causes topsoil to become degraded, which is basically gaining today's productivity by taking out a loan from the future.

I first started thinking about this with lawns: a big problem with monocultures is ultimately that they occupy a single niche.

In the wild, plant communities form layers of plants that occupy different niches in space. So in a forest you have your canopy, your understory, your forest floor with herbaceous plants, and you have mosses and epiphytes, and basically if any sunbeams aren't soaked up by the big guys in the canopy, they're likely to land on SOME leaf or other.

Monocultures like lawns are so damn hard to sustain because they're like a restaurant with one guy in it and 20 empty tables, and every table is loaded with delicious food. And right outside the restaurant is a whole crowd of hungry people.

Once the restaurant is at capacity and every table is full, people will stop coming in because there's no room. But as long as there's lots of room and lots of food, people will pour in!

So a sunny lawn has lots of food (sunlight) and lots of room (the soil and the air above the soil can fit a whole forest's worth of plant material). So nature is just bombing that space with aggressive weeds non-stop trying to fill those niches.

A monoculture corn field has a lot of the same problems. It could theoretically fit more plants, if those plants slotted into a niche that the corn didn't. Native Americans clear across the North American continent had the Three Sisters as part of their agricultural strategy—you've got corn, beans, and squash, and the squash fits the "understory" niche, and the corn provides a vertical support for the beans.

We dump so many herbicides on our monocultures. That's a symptom of inefficient use of the Sun, really. If the energy is going to plants we can't eat instead of plants we can, that's a major inefficiency.

But killing the weeds doesn't fully close up that inefficiency. It improves it, but ultimately, it's not like 100% of the energy the weeds would be using gets turned into food instead. It's just a hole, because the monoculture can't fulfill identical niches to the weeds.

The solution—the simple, brilliant solution that, to me, is starting to appear common throughout human agricultural history—is to eat the weeds too.

Dandelions are a common, aggressive weed. They're also an edible food crop.

In the USA, various species of Amaranth are our worst agricultural weeds. They were also the staple food crop that fed empires in Mesoamerica.

Purslane? Edible. Crabgrass? Edible.

A while back I noticed a correlation in the types of plants that don't form mycorrhizal associations. Pokeweed, purslane, amaranth—WEEDS. This makes perfect sense, because weeds are disaster species that pop up in disturbed soil, and disturbed soil isn't going to have much of a mycorrhizal network.

But, you know what else is non-mycorrhizal? Brassicas—ie the plant that humans bred into like 12 different vegetables including broccoli and brussels sprouts.

My hypothesis is that these guys were part of a Weed Recruitment Event wherein a common agricultural weed got domesticated into a secondary food crop. I bet the same thing happened with Amaranth. I bet—and this is my crazy theory here—I bet a lot of plants were domesticated not so much based on their use as food, but based on their willingness to grow in the agricultural fields that were being used for other crops.

So, Agroforestry.

Agroforestry has the potential for efficiency because it's closer to a more efficient and "complete" plant community.

People keep telling me, "Food forests are nowhere near as efficient as industrial agriculture, only industrial agriculture can feed the world!" and like. Sure, if you look at a forest, take stock of what things in it can be eaten, and tally up the calories as compared to a corn field (though the amount of edible stuff in a forest is way higher than you think).

But I think it's stupid to act like a Roundup-soaked corn field in Kansas amounts to the pinnacle of possible achievement in terms of agricultural productivity. It's a monoculture, it's hard to maintain and wasteful and leaves a lot of niches empty, and it's destroying the topsoil upon which we will depend for life in the future.

I think it's stupid to act like we can guess at what the most efficient possible food-producing system is. The people that came before us didn't spend thousands of years bioengineering near-inedible plants into staple food crops via just waiting for mutations to show up so that we, possessing actual ability to alter genes in a targeted way, could invent some kind of bullshit number for the carrying capacity of Earth based on the productive capability of a monoculture corn field

Like, do you ever think about how insane domestication is? it's like if Shakespeare's plays were written by generation after generation of people who gave a bunch of monkeys typewriters and spent every day of their lives combing through the output for something worth keeping.

"How do we feed the human race" is a PAINFULLY solvable problem. The real issue is greed, politics, and capitalism...

...lucky for us, plants don't know what those things are.

Wanna give a quick shoutout to the federal judge last week who struck down the Arkansas law that tried to outlaw gender-affirming care for minors, not only ruling it unconstitutional, but including 311 statements of fact all going against the gender-affirming care ban in a ruling that was 80 pages long. Especially since these statements make it harder for transphobes to appeal and iirc this is considered precedent.

name, don't forget to credit him by name! BIG thank you to judge james moody jr. for protecting trans kids in my state!!

Can’t believe you left this in the tags @thewitchywinnie

The fact that this is so common that having a "nazi phase" is, like, a recognized thing. It's weird man. Why are we pretending that's not weird. What's going on there

Nazis prey on isolated and insecure people and thats why young queer people who dont know anything about gender identity and are eager to have an identity easily fall victim to that us v them mentality

No see like that part at least I can work out, those communities are attractive to people who are confused and isolated by their nature, that's why they're so toxic. What I don't get is why do they brag about it after they get out

they see fascists as a joke instead of a threat to humanity because they cant imagine being attacked by them themselves

And remember everyone, even if you did not go thru a "Nazi phase", that does not mean that you have not/currently do not hold white supremacist beliefs.