Procrastination As Performance Art

depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

Therapist in media: serious face the whole time

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now

Actual things my therapist has told me:

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

me: so I ended up realizing I was saying the exact same thing you say to me when my anxiety is overwhelming.

my therapist: *cackles* YESSS!

I aspire to be half the therapist’s described here.

Winter Reunion by Carlos Ortega Elizalde

 Middle fry had me watch some of this guy’s YouTube videos a while ago; I’m sure it’s for fun and he actually does know what he’s doing, but he sure looks like a freaking disaster.

Share if you long for the good old days…

No harm to any religion. It’s just a lamp ads by an Australian company. However, it’s funny!

I’m going to cry 😂😂

Ahaha, the reason why Mohammad is specifically mentioned as not being able to be there is because in Islam, portrayals and portraits of Mohammad are forbidden.  But they didn’t want to be seen as either hand waving him as at the table but not shown or as explicitly omitted.

Very smart move there advertising script writers.

This is so wholesome

was that last dude a frikkin Jedi

In Australia more than 70,000 people (0.37%) declared themselves members of the Jedi order in the 2001 census.  Now granted, many of them were taking the piss but that is if nothing else a lot of piss-takers.  An even greater percentage of the New Zealand population self-identified as Jedi in the 2001 census - 1.5%, which to put it in perspective is 0.3% more than said they were Buddhists.  We’re due for another census this year (the normal five year pattern got thrown off by the Canterbury earthquake in 2011 so the most recent one was 2013) and due to popular demand it appears that on the new forms, there will actually be a box you can mark for Jedi, rather than it being a write-in option.  (They’re also going to include things like identifying more denominations of Christianity and Judaism and more recently formed systems like Falun Gong, but obviously it’s the Jedi who make for a fun headline.)

So including a Jedi at the table of religious figures reflects an actual cultural (if not sincerely religious) phenomenon in this part of the world.

I got a chuckle out of this one.

“Christian rock?“ “This one’s about me!” “They’re all about you!” 😂

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

my inability to make this video go viral was certainly my biggest failure of 2017

это россия

RAW SLAVIC POWER AND SEXUAL ENERGY

Waffle House

Submitted by: http://procrastinationasperformanceart.tumblr.com/

Inspired by “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

[X]

The Sword of Damocles.

AKA how in 9 hells is Kylo Ren seriously going to lead the First Order without it crashing and burning down around his enormous ears?

Also introducing quit!Hux, my new headcanon.

full size: pixiv

Both hux and millie have a collection of the skulls of their enemies

Shoutout to the imaginary person or creature that used to run alongside the car when you were a kid. It was so good at parkour.

shout out to the girls that hate their bodies but are trying really really hard to find the beauty and comfort in them because that shit is hard and takes a lot of time and is emotionally exhausting. i’m proud of y'all.

me: I will not read ceasefire again

me:…

me: opens ceasefire and starts reading

a compilation in honour of our first christmas without vine.