Housekeeping
- Pencil is she, Paper is they/thon
- We have a podcast where we try to make the ideas good and also answer RPG questions. Transcripts (working on getting up to date with those)
- We made a game! It’s probably good!
Anonymous asked:
The archipelago of the Philippines's strange shape is due to it being the fossilized remains of an enormous creature.
I assume this is a submission and not a conspiracy, but you never know
No no no you're trying too hard to make D&D into something it's not. Here's what you do:
- Sci-fi: pencil in "Laser" in front of all the weapons and attacks, add "inator device" to the end of all the spells, and pencil in "Space" in front of all the nouns.
- Steampunk: just flip a coin for everything except monsters. Heads, pencil in "gear" in front of the noun, tails you pencil in "steam." Monsters are just monsters.
- Cyberpunk: just pencil in "cyber" in front of everything except spells, which are now called "hacks."
- Modern: unless explicitly stated otherwise, every weapon is a gun that takes one action to reload.
Player: So, I made my characters for the planescape campaign...
Me, putting on boxing gloves and stepping into the ring: Ah, sorry, no, this is a Painscape campaign
Ways to refluff Vicious Mockery
- You say something so utterly confusing the person takes psychic damage trying to figure out what the hell you're on about.
- Call your opponent on the phone, which as we all know does irreparable psychological damage
- A really scary story told really fast
- You say a meme so dank it shuts down the listener's heart, like a focus-group-ran zoomer remake of Monty Python.
- One of those needlessly mean songs they sing about people in disney movies.
- UWU YOUR FOES TO DEATH! NYAAAAAA!
- You say something so nice your enemy realizes they're the asshole here and does themselves psychic damage as an apology.
- Tell your opponent you love them and cause deadly levels of social awkwardness.
- Literally red-hot take about Steven Universe.
- Gerrymander your opponent's vital biological functions.
- Mumble something really quietly and when they come closer to hear it better you punch them in the face
- Just read out the last thing Elon Musk said.
- Ok, hear me out...Gun Mouth?
At the start of the game, pick a single class at random to massively nerf because fuck 'em.
Reverse murder mystery.
Someone cast True Resurrection on the local dickhead and we need to figure out who to punish for this.
Rather then gaining power through being superlatively good at music, your bard gets it by being incomprehensibly bad at it.
Important Question
In the zombie apocalypse which celebrity would be funniest to have turned into a zombie who retained all their mannerisms as they try to eat you?
I just want a zombie apocalypse where zombies just, like, remain people. The virus just makes you want to eat people and changes nothing else.
Not in some tortured "The hunger controls me" sense, the virus makes you want to eat people and be fine with that, but otherwise you're still Greg the middle manager. You want to finish work, go home, watch netflix and eat a guy.
I think I've reinvented "All We Want To Do Is Eat Your Brains" but I stand by it.
Anyway I love all your suggestions and made all of them canon at once.
Important Question
In the zombie apocalypse which celebrity would be funniest to have turned into a zombie who retained all their mannerisms as they try to eat you?
Anonymous asked:
a mac n cheese wizard. their grimoire is a recipe book for the most cheesy cheese and the bounciest macs. their arcane focus is a ladle. they are so vulnerable bc they insist on wearing a full chef's outfit instead of armour at all times for the aesthetic and their hat is a chef's hat made out of the classic blue-black witch hat material
Hmm, distressingly specific.
I'll take 5
Turning to dust is too low octane.
From now on when vampires enter sunlight they fucking explode in a blast of [Blood Potency] megatons
A vampire with a key fob of electronic body noises. They use occasional fart and sneeze sounds to pass as human.
As a fellow human I too make highly tinny sneezes from my pocket, so this checks out.
-Pencil
Community Label: Mature
You've heard of the Deck Of Many Things, now get ready for the Thing With Many Dicks!
Community Label: Mature
The author has indicated this post may contain content that may not be suitable for all audiences.
Anonymous asked:
A velociraptor bard.
Charismatic girl...
Critical successes now happen on a natural 7, critical failures on a natural 17.
The probabilities stay the same so I don't see why anyone would get annoyed.
Anonymous asked:
Mana is stored in the balls
when you're a wizard they're called orbs
Anonymous asked:
You are the Sea Witch's lawyer, who has to always be present whenever she makes a contract with hopeful young mermaids seeking a happily ever after.
"Ma'am, this musical number may constitute proof of malice aforethought"