The Six Simple Stages of Auditioning For the Sansukh Podfic

**A Simple Guide to the Emotions & Reactions One May Experience During This Audition Frenzy, Aimed to Help You Understand That These Emotions Are Natural & Valid For Any Blossoming Young Piece of Fandom Trash**

Stage 1:EUPHORIA- OH BOI THEY JUST ANNOUNCED AUDITIONS! TIME TO SPORADICALLY RECORD IN A SINGLE NIGHT WHILE ATTACHED TO AN IV DRIP OF PURE CAFFEINE!!

Stage 2: RAPTUROUS JOY- HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GREAT.

Stage 3: REALIZATION-HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE SUCK.

Stage 4: BARGAINING- TIME TO FIND SOME LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS TO SHARE THESE WITH…WHY, SALUTATIONS FELLOW AUDITIONEE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY VOICE? PLEASE HEAR MY VOICE. HERE’S MY NUMBER HERE’S MY SKYPE HERE’S MY FACEBOOK HERE’S MY MYSPACE HERE’S MY VINE HERE’S MY EMAIL ADDRESSES SINCE 2003 HERE’S MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER HERE’S MY SOUL– TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK TELL ME WHATCHA THINK. INEEDVALIDATIONGODDAMMIT!

Stage 5: DEPRESSION- HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GRE- Oh wait, THESE STILL SUCK.

Stage 6: ACCEPTANCE- YOLOYOLOYOLO FUCK IT. THORIN OAKENSHIELD DIDN’T STOP TO RECONSIDER, WHY SHOULD I? #WWTOD? *send everything in one giant snot-covered email at 11:57 PM, April 30th 2015* 

Now gather up that smile, refrain from checking that Tumblr page every two seconds, and sacrifice as many goats as you think wise to the Powers-That-Be.

Because: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE JUST AUDITIONED FOR SANSUKH!

Warning: Results May Vary

Oh how I wish I'd been born sooner and not just discovered Sansûkh now in bloody 2023.

I really would have liked to audition!

(although my chances probably would have been miniscule but even voicing the most unimportant of background characters would have been an honour)