I am a responsible dog owner and I only teach Echo practical tricks

2003 will be my year

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

you mean, skin?

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.

Men are bus schedules

how

Always lying

i am the kind of person who says hi to dogs

— Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care (via wordsnquotes)

Periods are canceled for 2018. This year, I don’t want to bleed unless it’s from a wound I earned in honorable combat.

Why girls like doggy style so much ??

So I don’t have to see your face

YIKES

“In the words of Mark Twain’s wife, Shania Twain, ‘that don’t impress me much’”

-

Bonus:

Date a cutie who calls you both dude and babe