Guess who's back on her bullshit

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

I have a hot date with a beautiful gas leak seeping up from the basement ina few minutes, just gotta light some candles to set the mood !

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

it’s fucking disgusting that i just lost 6 followers

it’s important to recognize that these are in fact two different statements.

Hat

Item: Big Wizard Hat

@imaginationshow care to, ah, toss your hat into the ring? ;)

Cute baby hat you’ve got there!

Holy shit yeah that’s a hat

@evilwizard there's been a lot of talk about high wizard hats, but what do those brims mean for wizard hierarchy?

greater height implies a better ranking in the wizard council. greater width is correlated to more magical knowledge. ive heard of wizards whose hats grew so large they became libraries

If you rearrange the letters in the light it spells alien

If you add in the partial letters touched by the light it’s “E.T. Alien” 👽

A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

checkmate athiests

fluffye

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

sharks are smooth in every single direction, some dogs are only smooth in one direction

Sharks are secretly fluffye. they just don't want anyone to know

“how’s the writing going?” i’m glad you asked! my room has never been cleaner and i’ve decided to take up baking

“how’s the cleaning going?” thanks for checking in! I’ve written four chapters :)

Seriously, though, everybody relating to this: you're doing so great! This is an excellent habit!

You've successfully harnessed the power of procrastination in ways that keep improving your life in your avoidance time. That's huge!

And sometimes the best thing for a block is to let your subconscious have at it for a while uninterrupted by the constant poking. Treat your brain like a small child. Treat it with kindness and give it something else to do so it stops trying to drive you mad.

Once the results are done, I'll multiply 255 to the decimal version of the percentage, and see what color we make!!

Here's the result!! A nice lookin color, good work everyone!

i believe we've reached a consensus

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

um … compilation

Once again, Tumblr manages to succeed via just being honest with their users.

I made a post back around April fool's about the crabs being so popular because the joke was that every other website tries to trick you into clicking things so they can make money from your clicks and what if instead a website just asked "please click this revenue generating crab. It is there to generate revenue. In return you will have clicked on a crab. Nothing more." And the answer to that question was "people will frantically click on that crab. They don't hate the idea of the website getting money, they hate the idea of being profited on against their will".

So Tumblr implemented actual revenue crabs. "For this much money you can fill your or someone else's dash with virtual crabs. This will have the effect of there being crabs on their screen."

And people will buy those crabs. Because yes you're spending money on something stupid and useless but it's being sold to you as "hey you want something stupid and useless?", which is a nice change of pace from every other site trying to make itself out to be something more than what it is.

Twitter is floundering with the checkmark system because it's being sold as "confirm that you are someone important and who you say you are is true", which it isn't at all right now because anyone can buy one. You're buying a useless checkmark that only says that YOU think you're important. Or, more often than not right now, you are intending to trick other people into thinking you're someone you're not.

Meanwhile, Tumblr just said "Consider this double check mark. It does nothing. You will be marking yourself as someone who paid money for a meaningless checkmark and sometimes it will randomly turn into a bunch of crabs, making the site harder to use". And the userbase is like "Well sure, that sounds delightful."

The point is, despite what all the marketing and advertising people have tried to say, painting trash gold and trying to pass it off as something better is almost never as effective as just saying "hey you want this trash?"

Why yes, in fact, I do.

Larry the Cat, the government-appointed Chief Mouser of Downing Street, has now outlasted 4 UK Prime Ministers and one monarch.

There are some disadvantages being a marine biologist

Ha! 😒