So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.

Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.

I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.

Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.

Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet

This is like a Scooby Doo bit I love it

Colorful Moon Mosaic Credit: Noel Carboni

#moon #crater #cratera #lua #astrophotography #astrofitografia https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv4q1rvjLuq/?igshid=7512b65a1p34

by leah_berman / follow my twitter

Met the most beautiful boy today!! So sad I couldn't bring him home with me...

Vik, Iceland by Quinn Nietfeld

RIP RIP RIP i can never interact with my neighbor again holy fuck

i was outside w/ my cat just now. and he went behind a shrub for a bit, and me not realizing my neighbor was on the other side of that same shrub, poked my head round and said way louder than necessary, “my SCRUMPTIOUS darling boy, what ever are you doing over there??”

and this 40-something man i very rarely speak to handled it w/ remarkable grace and very tentatively responded “…..watering my.. roses? you?”

my dream looks exactly like that

Geometric Pokemon Drawings made by UnownGamer37

It’s canon now, she said so

true romance

I’m p

Yes I’m

Yes hmmms ow

Eh

Tnhk

Tumblr wouldn’t let me upload the video but I let the mice write a tumblr post for me and this is the result :^)

living in the countryside really strikes the fear of god into you at the most random moments. you’ll just make eye contact with a cow or stare for too long into a brook and all of a sudden you’ll think something like “these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant” and then you have to go and put the kettle on to cope

me:

the hare staring at me from across the field: which one of your lives is this?

me, legging it: okay tea time i think

the fact that Donald Trump will die in my lifetime is a very comforting thought

I’m staying in this bitch ass world just to outlive him

that buzzfeed quiz abt the zodiac questions that reveal a tarot card that matches ur personality is cool n all but did y’all know people actually do have two “birth cards” and they are like, much deeper than a buzzfeed quiz. you can calculate yours here mine are death and the emperor

you’re just posting this so you can brag that you’re death and emperor

cranky cuz you’re not death and the emperor aren’t you

my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.

Embroidery PDF Patterns by ALIFERA

watch this movie

Redditors design worst volume sliders possible

Some of these are genius! ( see reddit / via )

Well, this post went a bit nuts.

That last one honestly belongs in hell