*me, a large, ancient grazing mammal* whom wants to be my gf? Please– *gets speared in the neck by hunter-gatherers*

God damn I need the story behind this before tumblr makes one up

they tried to get their phone fixed from somewhere other than the approved apple store locations,so apple tried to take em out

Schrodinger’s Nap: where you are both too tired to do things and awake enough to not fall asleep so you just lie in bed with your eyes closed suffering.

tfw a rattata flees from you

guy : so i was getting a glass of water (a glass is just a commonly used cylinder closed off on the bottom in order to hold liquids btw)

Great Britain to the EU probably (via nyc-conservative)

me: wants to be healthy and recovered 

also me: actively enjoys self destructive behaviour

i’m an angry person and i want to let it out and be an asshole but i’m also a nice person and i don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings do u feel me

Holy hell do I feel you

how am i simultaneously too much and also not enough

[Blue drawing of a whale saying “You don’t have to be the best photographer in the world to enjoy taking pictures.” in light blue text on a dark blue speech bubble.]

*has guests*

Mom: well time to do The Most™

The accuracy in this

U can really tell who’s been on tumblr more than four years because we all give up on networks and promos and our blogs become bizarre collections of obscure art and documentation of bad life choices

”ill like this post so i can find it later on”

wanna hear a joke? the american justice system