Full Time Trash

For future reference

reblog to save a life in the (hopefully distant) future

A Dark Souls-like game where the lore for a weapon gets less vague the more you upgrade it. Broken Blade: A brittle sword. You can’t seem to let it go. Unpolished Blade: A cherished weapon from ages past. Polished Blade: You remember something. Bride’s Blade: Your wife’s sword.

at first i wanted to make this funny but it just made me sad

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

My brother and I trying to piece together our dad’s life based on random info he casually brings up once and then never mentions again

When my great grandpa was on his deathbed my grandpa (his son) was with him and says his last words were “I told them they shouldn’t have hanged that woman. Well by damn they’re paying now” and no one in my family knows what the fuck that means

My grandmother was harassing me about the dangers of online dating, and my grandpa was like, “Oh fer crying out loud, leave her alone. My parents met online, she’ll be fine.” Apparenly my great grandparents were both telegraph operators who would chat over the line in between messages and fell in love and my great grandma moved halfway across the country to marry a dude she met over the telegraph.

No one alive in the family had ever heard this story until like 70+ years later when I happened to start seeing a dude from OK Cupid.

dark science beyond belief

Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said "well at least I never made you feel like I didn't love you"

I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said "I love you" in that small timid kid voice and she said

"well I don't love you right now"

Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn't even remember that it happened.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers

Can’t risk it

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

Please I’m running low on juice

Oh before I forget it exists again I need everyone to see this r/whowouldwin post

Okay overall i think we’re forgetting the most upvoted r/whowouldwin post of all time

King Shit

the original he wouldnt fucking say that

okay ~sometimes~ r/RATS is pretty good

we already have a strong contender for tweet of the year

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.

BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low

BUT NEVER ZERO.

Scissor Wizard and Paper Wizard

It’s probably fine to leave them alone together.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

I’m sorry. I just. I just love farting stepdad so much 😭 Like use what you have available to you.

Going to need this guy's lawyer

Tumblr in 2012:

Tumblr in 2022:

Edit: I fucking hate this post but I'm not a coward so I'm leaving reblogs on. I'm imposing a tax of this comment on the post though, so if you reblog from me your malicious deviance will forever be known.

Strange roadside buildings where you shouldn’t ever go.

I wish there were different words for the different types of forgetting because  when I say I forgot something, I don’t mean “I forgot we had plans on Friday.” I almost always mean “I forgot today was Friday.” I know my friend’s birthday is on March 20th, but I won’t wish her happy birthday on time because I won’t know it’s March 20th on March 20th. My forgetfulness has nothing to do with not caring about/remembering events and everything to do with my inability to keep up with the passage of time.

My most common one is being 100% certain I did the thing already because the memory of doing it and the memory of intending to do it are the same mental images.