Pretty Princess Potato

So I have this person. We never spoke. We don't know eachother.

But any day I play Elden Ring in the evening, it doesn't matter if I'm dueling or cooping or invading, I have like a 20% chance of stumbling into him.

When I'm dueling it's ALWAYS very close. I think I'm slightly better but sometimes he wins.

When I'm cooping and he invades, he makes all the smart plays. Which is mostly "don't fight huggingtentacles kill the host as fast as possible". You know. It's a smart play.

And when I'm invading it's always a breeze to co-invade with him. He never hits me unnecessarily. He always pays attention when I'm in trouble. He takes aggro really well and most importantly he knows that when fighting 2v2 you have to be sandwiching the host and the phantom and not be on the same side. Good co-invader.

We have a bit of a rivalry going on? Whenever we fight eachother it's always the most tryhard shit that you'll ever see. The kind of shit that makes Redditors disconnect in tears. All is fair game when we fight because god damn I if one of us loses the winner gets to do the "Bravo" gesture which might be genuine expression of being impressed but it's probably sarcastic.

It's always very hype to see him. I get very fired up. No matter how shitty my day is he always lights me up and forces me to play full force.

I hope he's doing alright.

they fell asleep watching contests together

@she-hulk-at-a-bake-sale

He tried his best

(via)

it should be illegal to make a cute girl (me) have to face the horrors of the world (getting out of bed)

I love when software is mildly and oddly threatening

Consider a girl, with a twist, she is so so eepy. This is the reality I live in

Gonna drink so much monster so that when I got boobs they'll be filled with it and I can let all my friends suck on them like their own personal bar

this is peak trans culture because this would have been easier with very nearly any other guitar design but she just haaad to use one shaped like the letter e. Not afraid of a challenge. Respect.

I would like to add that their name is E, literally just the letter E, like they’re in a spy movie. As if that wasn’t cool enough already she went and got a guitar shaped like her name. Fucking icon.

me when they call my name at mcdonals (i am approaching the counter)

here you go sir

thank you

The Crushing Weight of Not Knowing If There Is a Task

im starting to think this crushing weight is not about the tasks

Doms will literally force their subs to do self care while they run on 4 hours of sleep and just drank their second can of monster at 9am.

Look you don't need to call me out so explicitly Lilith.

It’s called a crush cuz i want them on me like a weighted blanket

it's called a crush because i wanna crush them between my thighs

*pounds a monster at 9pm* why can't I ever sleep at night

WAIT.I MEANT. THE DRINK LIKE I.M

Linux is truly a trans operating system because you usually install it on a machine that was designed for windows, but you install a new operating system that it wasn't originally meant to support. Linux is hormone replacement therapy.

Or something like that idk what the fuck I'm talking about.

You are so right and you should say it

Does dual-booting make you NB?

Please??

When they first started dating, my best friend's boyfriend was like, "I just kinda feel like you two are uncomfortably close sometimes. All of my friends agree that it's really weird, and I think we need to establish some boundaries."

And I sat him down and gave him this huge speech, like, "Listen, the ability to maintain intimate, long-lasting friendships is a sign that your partner is well-adjusted! It's a little worrying that you're feeling insecure about your partner having a healthy, normal friendship."

Only for her to walk in two seconds later and say, "This drink is disgusting, you have to try it," and, instead of offering me a sip, take a huge swig and spit it directly into my mouth from like three feet away.

There's just so much going on here but I want to focus on the fact that this apparently happens so often that you saw her take a swig and instinctively opened your mouth for her to spit in it.

Who are you, OP? What is your life?