The Prettiest Bird

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why

not enough people are fond of things nowadays. reblog if you're a true fondler

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

*at the door to the selkie convention* good evening, ladies—allow me to take your coats

QUICK UPDATE: i am paying 182 alimony checks

I need to fuck him while the severed heads of those undeserving of him watch.

‘i can fix him’ ‘i can make him worse’ well I can pick him up like this.

Whispering in your ear "fuck you're so tight when you're scared" after I force myself into you

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

I've scheduled two hours of drinking coffee while looking out the window today

call me ur baby & fuck me like u wanna put one in me

tumblr needs to abandon whatever corny thing it's about to impose on everyone and work on adding a We don't talk but u seem cool button. it could go next to, or behind, the like button