me vs me vs me vs me vs me
there's an end to the loneliness, right? it ends, eventually? and i'll be finally whole inside?
Do it halfway. Take one piece of trash out of your room, throw one dirty shirt into your hamper. Go to one class and miss a different one. Start a drawing without pressure to finish it. Give yourself space to Be without the expectation to Become, and do small things to make the Being livable.
It's like so astronomically stupid and also deeply sad to think femme means you have to adhere to this incredibly rigid, deeply colonized, and tragically cishetnormative idea of what femininity is when I have learned so much about myself and the incredible femme community through genderqueer femmes, femmes of color, and femmes that fuck their appearance and identity in ways you could not (and do not need to) comprehend. And furthermore to collate that with being ugly and unattractive!! I have never felt more beautiful than when my butch idly plays with my bush or runs her hand over my rolls and curves of fat. There's such genuine incredible beauty and value and self-recognition in realizing absolutely nothing about the femininity you've been taught is something you have to embody and I wish more dykes would understand that.