SPENDING TIME

SPINNING OUT TOWARD

A DESIRE THAT WASN’T PURE

BORN BEFORE THE VIRUS WAS CURED

PITCH PERFECT

VIOLINS ON THE FLOOR

FAST FORWARD LININGS ON MY SKULL

TYPE OF DESIGN I COULD AFFORD

FAST FORWARD BANDS OUT

GOT THEY HANDS OUT

LIKE THEY’RE ACKNOWLEDGING THE FÜHRER

REWIND NAS TRACK 6

REWIND DANCE CRAZES

READ MY MIND

FREED MY MIND

FEED MY MIND

MAKES SENSE

JUST LIKE MIRRORS ON THE WALL

JUST LIKE SITTING ON ME

RAW IN MIRRORS SEEN IT ALL

COULD MAKE TWO

A PIECE OF MIND

FLICKING ASH

POURING A HALF

DONT POUR IN A GLASS

POUR IT IN FOAM

THAT’S WHITE LIKE EGGSHELLS IN MY OMELETTE

MY EARLOBES ARE YELLOW LIKE THE YOLK IS RUNNING

MY BRAINS ON DRUGS

I STILL HAVE NO PEACE OF MIND

FUCK

WOOF WOOF DOGS IN THE PLACE

LOOSE TOOTH LOST IN THE FRAY

ROOF LOST IN THE WRAITH

ROOF LOST ON THE WAY

FREEWAY

NO ROZAY

BRUTE FORCE

BRUT CHAMPAGNE

TELL THE FRONT DESK TO CUT NEW KEYS

RESERVED IN THE MERCER FOR TWO YEARS

IN TWO SUITES

TOOK OUT THE BED LIKE ITS FUCK SLEEP

ILL SMACK A BITCH LIKE ITS HOT HANDS

FIRED THE LABEL LIKE FUCK BRANDS

COMFORTABLE LOW NIGGA FUCK XANS

COMFORTABLE SLOW WHO THE FUCK RAN

NOTHING IS SWEET

NOTHING IN TANK SWEET

ITS JUST A TANK P

SALT ON A SLUG

SODA ON SLUGGED TEETH

CHEWING ON NOTHING

UR TWEAKING OR SOMETHING

UR REACHING FOR SOMETHING

UR SPEAKING SPEAK UP THEN

UR THINKING UR OVERTHINKING

ONE BLINK AND IM PRECUMMING

THAT COULD TURN EVERY NO ONE

INTO SOMEONE

XXX

I don’t know what hurts more, losing people or losing myself,

I hear things ya know? and talk to myself, I try not to be crazy, keep my composure and be strong, I am strong, but weak at the same time, if that even makes sense, the mystery behind me isn’t anything cool, or exciting it’s depressing, it’s sad, I’ll always be alone in my mind, with my actions, lies, motives,

I’ll always lose people because I’m at never ending war with myself, I lean on people to save me from myself, when in reality the only way to save me is to kill me,

my depressions comforted me for so long, I’ve to some degree become fond or even used to it, I can’t blame my mom , or the girls who loved me for leaving, in the end all there is, is me, it’s not rewarding or suprising , this character I’ve become , is it even me? is this what I wanted? I’m not sure,

the nightmares, sleepless nights, crazy thoughts, they all play a role, I had someone who could ease it ya know? and I made it my goal to ruin it, literally, she was so good to me, she was my heroin, or “heroine” I broke her, completely, but not only to ruin her, to build her, and she hung on , for so long, for so fucking long,

now I’ve reached a point where I can no longer progress, I’m in a pond with a canoe rather than in the ocean around me in a sailboat,

nothing excites me, nothing will give me joy for to long, only pain and sorrow is what has made me feel or comforted me,

being suicidal dosent exactly help these habits either, I had a drug stage where I would pop pills on pills, just to not feel anything at all, I’d get lost, and than create a motive,

the problem now is that my motives are always surrounded with these evil intentions, I’ve come to think I’m literally a villain at heart,

the thing is , villains are necessary for a story to go about, but, they never find love, or comfort in reasonable motive, just the craziest the things, when im good im sad, when im bad I feel alive, but than I hate myself after,

my insanity has been feeding on me since I could walk, I’d only prayed I’d found someone who figured it out and had the patience to keep me, to disregard the pain and only feed me love, it’s selfish of me, I know, but where are you, angel, my wing ridden angel,

save me - xxx

GosT - “Behemoth” [Full Album - Official - HD]

More Halloween listening with Finnish Synthwave