Portamento

My partner showed me neurographic art and I made

Twas fun

"Blah! It's me, the alien! I'm gonna getcha! I'm the alien!"

- the alien from Alien (1979)

she never said this. stop spreading misinformation.

She was thinking it though.

I was reading something about Whitestown, Indiana and my eyes nearly popped out of my head thinking it was one of THOSE comically racist towns. Nice to know, at least the name, wasn’t that.

Racisttown, named after the abolitionist Stopbeing Racist,

That's nothing. Check THIS shit out

WHAT THE HELL

i wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and beverages were $1 and growing up didn’t hurt so much

just kicked this dude so hard his worms came out

“nice blog”

thank you im really good at clicking reblog

@funnier-as-a-system

[ID: a mostly black image. White text at the top reads: "My therapist asked me to explore my inner self". Following this text are several images of a skeleton with a fedora dancing and posing, and one of a skeleton sitting at a table with a hand on its head and glass of alcohol in its other hand, looking depressed. Text continues underneath these images, reading: "Alas it is but bones". Both "alas" and "bones" have been given color and are much larger than the other words; "bones" has been given a wiggly appearance. / End ID]

I’m the founder of the “I suck at keeping the conversation going, but I really like talking to you” club

im a member of the "i can start and keep a conversation going but if you dont at least put some effort in the conversation i will get tired and accidentally forget your existence" club

Just realized I’m never at a 0 on a fatigue scale, at my best I’m at like.. a 1-3?

I always feel like.. kinda dozey? (Like when you get yawny but not really tired) and my legs and arms feel kinda like how they might feel after a workout or smth.

Wack how people just don’t feel at least a little tired.

shadow, ai am begging you to tell me right now that being fatigued at all time is typical. please. because ai am always at least a two.

I hate to be the one to inform you /lh

Most people are at a 0

are they because thats fucking wild

HOW AM I AT A 5 or 6 AFTER A STRING OF MORE THAN 3 CONSECUTIVE SHIFTS.

we havent been at a 3 or less in months, and 4 is our very rare really good days, we are usually at 6 at least, and on our bad days a 9 or 10

if you follow me thats on you. i will not apologize for Your mistake

There are political newspaper comics that aren't this succinct

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

Hello, tumblr. I regret to inform you that, unfortunately, the fuckin chocolate guy is at it again.

HE USES A FUCKING LED IN THIS ONE HE CANNOT BE STOPPED

Project Sekai x Animal Crossing!

Apparently someone attempted to assassinate me overnight and I didn't realise until I logged onto Twitter and my mutuals publicly tweeted things like, "OMG you almost got assassinated last night that's crazy!!!" and tagged me in those tweets.