meirl

This is probably the most Gen Z headline I’ve ever read and I can’t get enough

Poetry

My face is smiling

But my brain

Is

Screaming

I

Want

Chicken Wings

I’m at Starbucks, minding my own business, when they call out “Captain America!”. Everybody looks up, guy walks up, takes his Cold Coffee, looks around, catches my eye while I laugh, and smiles( I’m wearing a Dr. Strange t-shirt). He passes by me to get to his seat.

His friend snorts and the girl in front of me chokes on her drink.

Two minutes later they call out my order…. “Morgan Stark!”

He choked on his drink.

Guys, I never told you about this super funny thing that happened while I was in the mental hospital. #no shame So anyway, this one patient, (I’ll call him Jason for the sake of the story), tried escaping every other day, and each time his attempts got more and more elaborate. The best thing about this guy was that he never took it hard when they caught him.

I only saw his first attempt and the attempt on the day I was discharged. His first attempt was small and clever. He tried blending in with a group of visitors that were leaving. One of the techs simply said: “I see you, Jason,” and he turned around and went: “Aw, come on, man,” and went back to the community room to watch tv.

The last attempt was hysterical. So the unit I was in was on the third floor of the hospital, and they had a place for us to go outside. To keep us safe (and from escaping) there was really thick glass surrounding the outdoor area. However, there was a small space between the glass and the concrete on the bottom. I’m just sitting there enjoying the sun when Jason stands, rips off his shirt, and yells: “See you later, suckers!” He proceeds to start crawling under that space, but he gets stuck halfway through. Nurses and techs have to come pull him out by his legs and then make him put his shirt back on. This was the exchange.

“Jason, you know we have to lock you in your room now.”

Jason, nodding: “Yeah. That’s fair.”