high-speed hans: no caps no limits

my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

I need a complete list of your traumas, plus a genealogy going back at last five generations indicating the racial origins of all of your ancestors, plus essays on your personal relationships to religion, ethnicity, gender and sexuality before I can determine whether you're allowed to create this art. Until the paperwork is submitted, I'm just going to put you down as "Provisionally Problematic and Probably Appropriative". Please enjoy your complementary harassment while waiting for a judgement.

Processing times are currently about five years. Please Remain Patient.

"Ooh, I'm sorry; your ancestors' racial origins need to be listed in modern American terminology. Please resubmit. Until then, I'm downgrading your status to 'Tried to Make Excuses Rather Than Just APOLOGIZE'"

I'm sorry, that apology has been judged Insincere. What do you mean "why"? You didn't even address the substance of your wrongdoing. "What wrongdoing"? Sir, I cannot help you if you're going to play such games. Please go to the end of the line. NEXT!

Ah, I see that you've completed your trauma essays. Capital. Please report to those stocks over there while the Bailiff reads them out to the mob with customary scorn and ridicule. NEXT!

Right; so our review shows that you actually are a member of the marginalised community to which this art pertains. I therefore sentence you to hear people say: "You don't speak for ALL members of this community!" for the rest of your natural life.

It really is quite simple, I don't know why you're making this so complicated. Just confess your sins, promise to do better and ask for absolution--No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Catholicism, what are you talking about? And actually, a great many of the people here have Catholics amongst their oppressor classes, so it's pretty problematic for you to draw that parallel--Well! There's simply no call for that kind of language! Back of the fucking line! NEXT!

there is no greater capitalist injustice than the financial gatekeeping of stompy goth boots

in a truly equal world every human on earth would be entitled to one pair of demonias in their preferred style and size free of charge. i will not rest until this is reality

Soy feminization theory is so funny to me because it’s basically like “girls are using chemicals to turn boys into girls” which sounds like a fucking codename: kids next door episode

….Its actually literally a codename kids next door episode-

I mean they use rifle gun things but Its still literally is one.

Specifically the season 3 episode ‘F.U.T.U.R.E’

Oh thank God I didn’t accidentally describe a homestuck thing for once

crazy that we were supposed to get a silent hill game co-created by junji ito and then we didn't. absolutely insane absolutely unacceptable stupid stupid stupid reality

junji ito/guillermo del toro monsters and cosmic horror in a SILENT HILL GAME and they cancelled it

i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened

*drinks a gallon of milk in 6 minutes in order to gain superautism*

An awful day to be lactose Intolerant

ANATOMY by kitty horrorshow, as told by neuralblender

(remember to tag #unreality when reblogging for people who would rather avoid neuralblender!)

:O i i’ve never seen neurelblender poetry before, this is INCREDIBLE

here’s my Modern Take on alice in wonderland

most of the male characters in breaking bad are bald because it’s easier to animate

angst with a happy ending is my favourite honestly like yes bitch give me emotional conflict but dont completely ruin my soul you know

dreamed of an image macro with the top text I KNOW ALL THE STEPS & bottom text BUT POORLY over goofy looking animals

yes yes yes oh my god

wake up babe new dreme dropped

it’s jsut fucked up that we bred pigeons to be our companions and then when we no longer had use of them we just abandoned them and now we treate them like menaces and pests and  people want them dead they are our FRIENDS

I was drunk but right