it’s 2018. i have no idea where im going in life or what i want to do. i have no idea if moving to asheville was even the right choice for me. i almost feel as miserable there as i did living at home last year. i miss my boyfriend. which makes me hate how stupidly dependent ive become on his attention. its been a semester of long distance and im ready to quit. we’ve handled it pretty well but the problem is there is no end in sight. which is super extra shitty and i cant even think about it without crying. i basically have no friends. i have no hobbies. i have no interests. im a fucking ghost and its getting hard to pretend. i know that these are all things that i can change but at the moment i just feel fucking defeated and unmotivated. im sure things will change. at least i hope

i am sad and i feel vulnerable and i think that i need to push away a little bit.