PkmnGoNB

This line from lysandres wiki is so funny his motivations are truly incomprehensible

Never let them know your next move

every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers

gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.

when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!

here

✨😲✨🔥🔥🔥🔥

I realize it’s just because they’re trying to introduce the audience to the concept of Pokemon and everything but nothing will ever be funnier to me than prof oak being like “these are creatures called Pokemon, they live in all sorts of environments!” like imagine if you met a biology professor and they were like ‘I’ve been studying these intriguing creatures called “animals’

I maintain that Pokemon starts to make a lot more sense when you stop thinking of the Professors as biologists and start thinking of them as children’s science communicators, which, in a world where children as young as 10 are expected to make their way in a world populated by superpowered fauna almost entirely alone, stands as an important and laudable career. “There are 150 animals” becomes the in-universe equivalent of “There are three states of matter.” There’s too much information in this field to dump on a grade-schooler all at once, so Professor Oak is here to mete out animal facts as they become relevant in an easy-to-understand way.

That being said, I would love to see what kind of shit the real Pokemon biologists are on. I’m just imagining some disheveled, overcaffienated researcher writing a grant proposal for their study on why certain wingull seem to evolve into pelipper faster when they hatched in the winter or something. There’s bird shit on their glasses. They haven’t left the lighthouse in months. This is their life’s work. Ash Ketchum doesn’t need to know about real Pokémon biology.

comic for @isnt-that-grape / @celestialsstorm-art ! i had fun hehe

Wildcat appears in the Coronet Highlands. (The second one was drawn when I mistakenly thought Sneasler was a big Pokémon, so it is actually no longer this tall.)

The second one can still be canon if she’s standing on a Rock while coming down a hill.

Part 2

Part 1

why are these all so fucked up

the fossil pokemon of this gen are inspired by several incidents in britain (and europe at large but mostly britain) where many fossils were put together completely wrong, resulting in shit like this being in actual museums. this particular one (the “otto von guerick unicorn”) is actually from germany, but it’s the funniest of them. see the crystal palace dinosaurs or the piltdown man for british examples

in the game, you’re combining fossils from completely different extinct pokemon, resulting in these monstrosities that have dex entries like this:

some of the 8 dex entries even speculate why these pokemon may have gone extinct, which is funny because they never existed in the first place. they’re chimeras that are exclusive to the pokemon universe’s modern times.

the professor lady who puts the fossils together in the pokemon games is even named Cara Liss (careless)

some people have made fanart of what the original pokemon may have looked like, here’s one, here’s another, and here’s a third!

maractus

【ROCKET!】

idk. Made me laugh. Rocket grunt trio of baddies that could very well defeat any opponent, but are too polite and stupid to do anything close to evil. They just accidentally end up saving the day every time.

Tip me!

big moon bunny

So shaped ✨😲🌙

New Umbreon art but also reposting the Espeon art because they deserve to be together 🥺❤️

Pretty!

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

I love it!

The “Rival” should be the one with the Glameow.

hey why the shit is she described like that in this website when the other leaders aren’t labeled anything like that, labeled anything at all like that, and something that is clearly trying to be gross towards sociopaths? call me unfun or whatever the fuck all you want, but i find that this is messed up, and pretty gross, why the shit did they do this, like THAT?

Is this on the fucking official site?!

oh god no it’s not, this is some dumb fansite

Yikes, ableist as hell.

hey why the shit is she described like that in this website when the other leaders aren’t labeled anything like that, labeled anything at all like that, and something that is clearly trying to be gross towards sociopaths? call me unfun or whatever the fuck all you want, but i find that this is messed up, and pretty gross, why the shit did they do this, like THAT?

Is this on the fucking official site?!

“i wish pokemon were real!”

beedrill is three feet tall

yeah but lets be real here if it meant I could live in a world with completely free healthcare and take tours across entire countries on foot with superpowered animal/else companions I would fight a hundred fucking beedrill at once naked with only a butter knife

as i say every time i see this post,

you can catch beedrill and earn the purest fucking love from its little bee heart with a muffin you earn playing a minute of yarn toss

beedrill is not your enemy

Let’s think about life in the Pokemon world for a minute…

First of all, there’s universal free healthcare across the planet. That’s more that a lot of places in our world can say. Moreover, fresh water on this world is apparently so nutrient-rich that it can cure moderate injuries, to say nothing of what berries can do. Therefore, the inhabitants of this world are probably very physically healthy, and those with disabilities (who by default cannot be “healthy”) don’t have to worry about losing their healthcare due to lack of money.

Politics-wise, there isn’t much of a government. Despite this, the world seems relatively peaceful. Private individuals, some as young as eleven, can be expected to deal with crime themselves. War has occurred in the past, but the general political sentiment appears to be very anti-war - cruelty is strongly frowned upon.

Economically, it’s true that there are some people with economic issues - like that one dude in Mauville Hills in ORAS - but generally there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of homelessness or poverty. Some people are more well-off than others - vastly so in some cases - but largely poverty doesn’t seem to exist.

Then there’s the wildlife.

Strange, supernatural creatures of unknown origin and great power populate this planet. An unarmed adult human is no match for even one of these creatures. But the vast majority of the wildlife is extremely friendly to the point where it’s almost all domesticated. Small children are given these creatures as companions and allowed to go out into the open world with them, as they will be safe and able to survive. 

Even the scariest of these monsters can be tamed with love and care. Beedrill will love you if you toss yarn at it, sure. So will things like Gyarados, Hydreigon, and the Pokemon equivalent of Lucifer. No Pokemon is untameable so long as you are kind to it.

This in turn has fostered a culture of kindness. It is infinitely more rewarding to be kind to the living creatures around you. Those who are cruel are quickly steamrollered by those who build up close, loving bonds. Even then, a lot of people are concerned that this society of love and kindness is somehow too cruel (to the point where it was the entire plot of gen V).

That love and kindness is extended to all humans. People trust random strangers who walk into their homes. Items are randomly just given out on the street, often for no reward beyond a warm fuzzy feeling. Almost comical levels of generosity and acceptance are expected on this planet. And if you decide to betray that and take advantage of people…

Well, I hope you like having your ass kicked by an adorable eleven-year-old with a nice hat and a yarn-loving Beedrill.

THIS IS SO NICE

I LOVE THIS POST

fun fact, a myth in the pokemon world (specifically DPP) states that pokemon where worried about humans surviving on there own! so they all spoke about how to look after these squishy notpokemon, and they came up with the idea to be companions and friends. so whenever a human that’s trustworthy walks into the grass they present themselves, if a human earns there respect in battle they will aid that human as long as they are needed every pokemon that appears in cave, surfing and tall grass canonically wants to be your friend also unless you use a master ball if a pokemon does not want to be caught It Can’t Be. it’s only by showing of your skill in battle that a pokemon will want to join you. so even legendaries want to be your friend!! that’s why some legendary Pokemon (usually ones who present themselves to you) have low catch rates! they respect you and understand you can use there skill for good!

edit cause i remembered: this could also be used to explain why traded pokemon can disobey you, you didn’t earn the respect of there actual trainer and so you have to have the right skill level (badges, island challenges) for them to listen and trust you

This whole thing is so pure and way better than “Pokemon is superpowered dogfighting!” or whatever.

Pokemon Heritage Post

Today in chemistry we did a lab where we burned different chemical compounds to see what color flame would be produced and my group mixed all of the compounds together, and this was result

writers shouldn't need to go on strike – but when we do, we're funny as fuck.

some of my personal faves, taken from a longer twitter thread by jenny yang. learn more about the strike here.

Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet

Ho oh

I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure

Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?

In the kindest way possible, fuck you