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Your Friendly Neighborhood Simp

@pokadox

Been Simping Since 1999/she/they/23
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Hold up I need to talk Wayne Family Adventures for a sec because this panel means everything to me

In order of age, going only off personality and facial expression, we have:

  1. Dick: Calls "shotgun" primarily for control of the AUX cord, but won't say no to the extra leg room.
  2. Jason: Calls "shotgun" primarily to separate Dick from the AUX cord, but also because if he has to ride back seat with these other weenies it will absolutely feel like sitting at the children's table. Plus, the back seat always smells like old french fries.
  3. Tim: Genuinely wants the front seat, but less so for comfort reasons and more so because Bruce can't run away on him mid-sentence when he's operating a motor vehicle full of his children. This is essentially a hostage situation.
  4. Damian: Would not give half a shit about sitting front seat if it wasn't obviously such a coveted status symbol. The determination to possess what his brothers cannot is the only thing stopping him from crawling underneath the frame and clinging on like a wallaby for some goddamned peace and quiet

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

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did you guys see the poem from a couple of days ago in poetry dot org’s daily poem it was so good and a treat to read 

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been thinking about it since i read it 

Maybe he’s ordering a decaf because he has a heart condition, and you’re about to give him a heart attack and send him to the hospital.

Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.

Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.

Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,

Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.

Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.

Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.

Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.

Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.

But are you willing to bet their life on it?

Also, please remember that some people with sensitivities may get sick hours to days later. Just because they don’t have an immediate reaction doesn’t mean they are “exaggerating” or “lying”.

Whether illness or personal preference— just make their dang food the way they ask!!!

Who is this post for? Are food/coffeeshop employees regularly sneaking sugar and caffinated coffee out to their customers? Os this a thing thats happening?

A while back there was a post on an anaonymous cofessions about about a person who said whenever she sees a thin woman ordering a diet soda she just gives em a regular bc they dont “need to be dieting.”

Every coffee shop I have EVER worked in had at least one barista who would regularly change orders without the customer’s knowledge or permission, for reasons like

  • she doesn’t need to be dieting
  • Ugh, non dairy milk is so hard to steam, and drinking soy is a fad anyway
  • Life is short, eat the damn cheese bitch, it won’t kill you
  • I’d have to go open another bag of the gluten-free, and I don’t wanna walk all the way to the back room to go get it

At least once, I caught it maybe 3 seconds from disaster- someone with a life-threatening dairy allergy had ordered a soy latte. She told me at the register that it was a deadly allergy. I even wrote on the cup “ALLERGY- NO DAIRY”.

I caught the barista in question rolling her eyes and saying under her breath, “skinny bitches and their fake allergies, trying to get shit for free” (this particular coffee shop had a policy where a dairy allergy meant you didn’t pay the extra fee for non-dairy milk).

I saw the barista rinsing the dairy pitcher, put 2+2 together, and yelled out to the customer to stop her. She hadn’t started drinking yet, but she did lick the drips on the lid- she still needed her Epi-Pen and to go to the hospital.

Suffice to say that barista was fired on the spot… but there are many more people like that. Far too many.

Make the food/drinks people order, the way they fucking order them.

Even if she had just been trying to save the 50 cents…. so what?

Don’t bet people’s lives on your decisions.

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PSA: Do not buy from EKcreation on Etsy

They are making My Hero Academia character themed perfumes and oils and are stealing art to put on the bottles. They have stolen my work for both their Aizawa and Shinsou themed bottles.

They do not have permission to do this, nor do they offer any sort of credit. Both of these products have sold multiple times and the shop, which sells nothing but these perfume/oil bottles, has almost 2,000 sales. I was not aware of this before today.

Here’s the shop link if you want to check it out yourself. I have contacted them and told them that if they do not remove the listings in 24 hours, I will contact Etsy directly.

Shinsou bottle:

original artwork/coloring:

Aizawa bottle: 

Original work/coloring:

Assert dominance over ghosts by jumping out at yourself from dark corners

Why wait for a poltergeist to cause a ruckus? Slam your own doors. Rattle your own windows. Smash your own favourite plate against the wall. Haunt your own house. You don’t need no weakass spirit. The only supernatural force you need in your life is yourself.

this is so inspiring i’m crying thank you

Poltergeist: smashes plate on floor

Me: *swipes entire stack of plate off the shelf like a cat*

Poltergeist: okay mate alright take it easy jeez

Ghost in my home: *ungodly shrieking sound*

Me: *hits an operatic high G and leaves the room*

Ghost:

im bored who wants to play chess with me

um... i made all of them horsies bc that's my favorite. sorry

oh i don't mind at all in fact my horsey is coming to greet yours right now :)

omg hiiiiiiiiiiiii :3

I took a minute to quickly check which sample would have the most activity, assuming 100g, low-enriched (5%) samples, and negligible activity from the other sample constituents. Radium is top by a factor of 10,000, which seems about right considering my personal experience with it.

“considering my personal experience with it” What the fuck does this imply

It implies I have personal experience with handling radium samples, which I have. That saucy little thot can make the geiger counter crackle through a lead plate more than americium can through air

REALLY living up to your url king

Mormon sex co-op speedrun any% no major glitches no anal

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i think villains in general provide better, more epic romances because they’re allowed to go to extremes. they’re allowed to put their love over the greater good. they’re allowed to be selfish. the best a hero can offer you is number two, because their duty comes first. villains, though. villains will burn down the world for a last kiss goodbye.