Gats Rad Thought

It popped up in my head

I am so aroused right now

Oh I know some folks who will get this much faster than I did. @misshoneywheeler @aliceofalonso my favorite pundits.

Tag urself im “I keep bashing my head on things,” Tom said bashfully

We had to make some of these up for our standardised state testing.

“You call this a musical?” I’m SCREAMINF

i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad

i was halfway through before i realized these were puns i am so mad

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Back in a moment….

Checking the phone book for these names….

FINAL BOSS FIGHT

whenever i think about antis doing literally anything on this site this is what i picture:

i think drinking a fuckton of water out of your hands from the sink is in the same class of primal urges as running up stairs on all fours

a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same

Wtf

You chillin in bed with your girl. Its a regular day. Yall binge watching black mirror on netflix when you get a snap.

Its ya boy D. He sayin come to the court. Niggas wanna ball. You tell ya girl that you bout to go ball and she instantly get mad. Throwing a temper tantrum and speakin in a baby voice n shit “You always going to go ball. Why you can’t stay in bed with me?” she says.

you give her the look like bae don’t do this. She looks at you and says “fine let me go with you then.”  You can’t say no to her fine ass so you like ok cool but don’t complain. Her whole face light up like you just slid inside of her with a thousand dicks from Wakanda. Damn she really wanna spend time wit me. shawty love me. you thinkin to yourself.

You in the car waiting for her slow ass to come out. She taking all day. Then the door to crib opens and she look good as hell. Like she bout to walk the runway or some shit. She already 6 feet tall why she got on heels? Where the fuck she think yall going? She get in the car looking like Normani Zendaya Knowles-Carter.

“Nah you gotta change” you tell her. She look at you like you stupid and say boy put the car in drive. You do it but you mad. Candy Girl starts playing on the radio. You don’t know it but thats a sign, that will be explained later. You know what kinda niggas you hang around and you don’t want them to see your girl lookin like a 10 on a scale of 1 to 1 and a half.  Yall make it to the court and she get out purse in hand. You look at her and ask her “why tf you need that big ass bag? We not going nowhere plus you tryna get robbed” She look back at you and say “If a nigga tries to rob me my baby will be there.”

Fast forward. All your boys at the court but its a quiet day. Your girl in the bleaches on her phone. Yall one man short and waiting for somebody to pull up so yall can play.  Yall just shooting round looking like bums. All of a sudden your girl screams out “When yall niggas gone play?” You yell back her “We a man short. Thats why we aint start yet.” She yells back “Yall niggas trash anyway yall need to go home.” Thats when one of ya boys say you bring yo lil ass on this court then. Thats all she wanted to hear. She opens her big ass purse and pulls out some jays. You aint even know she owned sneakers.

Teams get picked and you have the job of guarding your girl so you aint gone really play hard. The game starts and the first thing one of the niggas on the other team does is give ya girl the ball. She catches it and blows u a kiss. Then she takes her first dribble to the left. You nonchalantly move to get in front of her and all of a sudden she goes to the right and you try to move but your ankle is deflated and sad looking like a used condom and you fall to the ground.

All you hear is your niggas go crazy. “Ohh shittttt niggggaaaaaaaa” You got crossed. By your girl. You might as well move out of town cuz u never gonna live this shit down. further more your ankle is broken. And when you look down you pass out from seeing the bone out in the open.

You wake up in the hospital. Your girl is there. She’s just looking at you. You suddenly remember what you’re in there for and turn your back. She jumps up happy to see you wake up. “Don’t touch me” You scream. She backs up confused. “I can’t look at you right now.” you tell her. You pull out your phone and open up instagram, that’s mistake number one. First thing you see is video of you gettin your ankles dehumanized. How tf they get that shit on camera? Nobody was even there.

You turn to your girl and say “we done.” I can’t take this shit. “fuck you mean we’re done” She says. She follows that up with  “You a sore ass loser.” and walks away. She doesnt come back to the hospital at all. Even when you get out of the hospital she’s not at home. All her stuff is gone. You realizing you fucked up.

You start listening to Akon’s Lonely everyday. You’re depressed. Theres a Progressive commercial where your girl crosses up Flo and she’s even on the Jimmy Kimmel show. You’re scared to look at her Instagram or Snapchap so you don’t. It’s been 2 months since you heard from her or your fake ass friends. Come to think of it, nobody even checked on yo ass.  You check ya boy D snap to see what he up to and him and your girl chillin in bed…

What the fuck!?!? Nah shit aint goin down like that. You bout to go whoop some ass ankle or no ankle. You stand up and immediately fall back down.  Your ankle like nah nigga you thought.  You gotta speed up your rehab so you can get your girl back.

You watching Love n Basketball. Candy girl is playing while Kyla Pratt is doing them lil niggas in. Thats when a light bulb go off in your head. you shoulda known she was bout to ball out. She damn near 6’1. Ain’t no way she wasnt on the highschool and maybe college teams.  You watch love n basketball almost everyday thinking of what coulda been if you knew your girl could hoop.

Finally Your ankle is back. And you roll up to your man D crib. You gotta play it cool. You knock on the door and your girl opens it. She in her fuckin pajamas. “So you gone sleep with my so called mans now? Is that what we doin?” Your anger already out, so much for playing it cool. “You wanted to be a bitch, so i moved on to bigger and better.” She says. You can’t help but think about Love n Basketball. “I wanna be your man.” (another song from Love n Basketball) You tell her.

She laugh in your face. This shit got you angry. “Where D at?” You ask. She tell you he at work. I’ll play you for your heart you tell her. Nigga you shouldnt have watched love n basketball so many times. Fine she says. D got a hoop in his back yard So yall go out back.

You wake up in the hospital again. You check Instagram. She dunked on you.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lmao crying.

Crying cuz u probably be crossing niggas too lol

😂😂😂😂😂

😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭

Horror movie trailer editors struggling to find a children’s nursery rhyme that already hasn’t been used for a different horror movie trailer

*creepy child’s voice singing* Milk milk…. lemonade… ‘round the corner… fudge is made

So I got curious about the signs and had to figure out if this happened in Canada. And not only was it Canada, it was Ontario. Rexall and BMO are Canadian companies and Food Basics is an Ontario only grocery store. 

After finding this out I had to figure out where it happened because I now know I could probably drive to the location and get little Caesars, so I looked up the dry cleaning company. Looking up the words "Oxford dry cleaning" didn't help at all so I had to change my game up. Next i tried scanning though every little caesars in ontario but that was much too labour intensive. Next I looked up “have a shit morning eat my balls” in hopes that someone else did the work for me and instead found some new pictures of the sign.

This new angle gave me more to work with. Mainly the “WONG” which i knew could only be from a shitty Chinese food place, so i looked up “wong Chinese restaurant” and found the name “The House of Wong”. After that it was very easy to find it

this sign is in Ajax. The same city that has the smokes poutine head office. The same city I ignore and pass up in favour of Pickering (because of their sweet flea market). This city may be full of surprises.  

A final screen cap as confirmation. Bless Bless. 

i just saw a post on fb that said men shouldn’t let their girlfriends/wives pump gas….like literally men should be the only ones putting gas in the car….what is the logic someone explain

well u see, once a woman has a taste of control of phallic “pumping” & ejaculation of gasoline into the warm and receptive car body, she will carry this energy forth as an emasculatory force against the man in question, stripping his life of meaning, since fucking the car is usually his prerogative and his main source of identity

i’ve been screaming at this for 10 hours

is germany okay

oh scheiße