something i wanted more legible than my handwriting

I feel the Devil incarnate; a twisted man. I know where my place shall be, a space reserved in Hell. Haunted, by the Spectres and Demons; those crafted in my mind and dreams.

I feel them. Constantly circling, in my mind like a top, Creating enemies and war; at the the start of every conversation. Truly testing the will and strength of ones mind.

It is a battle; nay a war, that feels never ending. Between yourself and the shadows. With light being so faint; And poison the only way to stave off the darkness.

The panic, and fear; should not be, yet they persist. Too damn stubborn to cry for help, alone we stand. A solitary figure on this beaten barricade.

Exhausted, Broken. The Resolve of man fading. But we must hold. Hold the demons as far we can.

For they are ours, not the worlds. 

Our fight alone.

Or so it feels.

i hate it when you have a day from hell, nothing seems to be going right, you finally get over the rage, settle down in bed and then your heart just breaks....did i used to be this broken?~

Currently sat tired, tipsy and thinking how boring this shit is, oh well more sailors #sailor jerry's

My dad's had his operation, it ended up being a quadruple heart bypass, but unfortunately it's set off my depression and I feel a constant dread but I'm drunker than I have been in months. 13 hours on the drink woop

Only place to write

So my dad had a heart attack last week, he’s been in hospital since then, he went and had an angiogram and he’s got three blocked arteries so he needs a triple heart bypass, possibly tomorrow possibly next week and I'm not sure how I'm taking it, the realisation of mortality is a scary thing, I've worked nigh on every day since and haven't truly took it in, good old ignore it and it'll go away...guess that won't work

I hate this time of year, I always end up feeling shit, I'm hoping two weeks off will help me get my head in order

Nightmares masquerading as dreams are a terrible thing, I haven't had a decent sober nights sleep in months

Seems my phone is broken woop

Tonight has been a pain in my fucking arse, fuck everything

Looks like work finally figured out I'm shit, Damn I'm getting told off woo

I feel the black dog snapping at my heels, hopefully a good night out tomorrow and the gig on Thursday at the monk will distance me from it for a time, tiredness and insomnia do nothing but slow my race from it, bring on the summer

you know what, fuck the world, fuck you and fuck you and fuck you, and especially FUCK YOU, i’m tired and grumpy and can’t sleep and i cba #balls

Through this life , We have moments that test us Test our ability to continue, Test our resolve to live The darkest of times can be tragic, They can be sorrowful They can be destructive, They can be harrowing Yet often we continue, For most the heart must beat on The mind must remain unbroken, The will must remain unshackled To wish to die is a foolish thing, To wish you could not be who you are, To wish your love and light extinguished, Every moment you have changes the life of another A smile, A wave, A hug, Just a chat Those single momentary actions can change something I am sad, I won't deny it, But I'm happy Because I take each day in turn Because I don't let the dark fade my sight I see the snowfall under the street light I see beauty I don't falter in my belief that there is light For we are never truly, One moment away,  One step away, From happiness