Avatar

Some Dumb Girl

@poetic-traveler-blog

{21.}
{Anderson, SC.}
{Writer. Singer.}
{Child lover.}
{Animal lover.}
{Camera whore.}
{Storm Enthusiast.}
{Anxiety & Depression.}
{Missouri->SouthCarolina.}

Can I kill myself yet? So, much, shit is happening in my life right now and my anxiety is so fucking high and I don't know how to handle what's going on. I need to smoke a few joints and get drunk as fuck with friends and yet no. I can't because I have to be an adult and go to work and make money so I can get an apartment and Jesus fuck I just wanna be 16 again. I hate this whole adult shit. I hate it so much.

Lately I've been so sad. And I do t know why. I just can't be happy. I should be happy. I've got a few great friends. I've got a job. And my job has made me have some good friends. But regardless of all of that, I'm still very sad. Very very sad. And I don't understand.

“He asked his uncle whether or not he would get into heaven if he killed himself, & then did. What was already a heart-breaking story became even more overwhelming for everyone, cause it was two people, two children who didn’t need to die. It’s still a lot to take in, it’s still a lot to think about & make sense of.  This is a tragedy, & how overwhelming it still is to me, today, years later & mostly unaffected, it wasn’t someone i knew that got killed, or that killed himself, but it’s still been difficult for me to really fully process.”  - Jordan Dreyer

Source: laa-dispute
You make love to that fucking girl. You hold her. You find a home in the crook of her neck and you bury yourself in her hipbones. You build a house on the small of her back. You live there. You never want to leave. You tattoo her name on your pinky finger like a promise. You get her phone number. You love her. You breathe her in. You call her back. You remember how her hair smells like spearmint and the way she takes shots of whiskey straight from the bottle without flinching. You tell her she is beautiful even when her makeup is smeared and she can’t stop crying. You compare her eyes to the stars, to mossy rocks by the lake, to leaving. You tell her you love her and never make her wonder if it’s okay to say it back. You love her fearlessly. You love her recklessly with your grenade heart and you hold her with your matchbox hands. You make love to that fucking girl.

This Is How You Love Her // Lindsey Hobart (via heartofthebitter-mindofapoet)