Noah

im not even joking rn this fucking painting made me start uncontrollably sobbing. Do you know how long it took to paint? How expensive it was? The cat was content for hours and so loved that the girl held him there and paid for him to be painted with her. Imagine having such a bond… imagine being so loved and loving so much back…

Apparently this is almost a genre of painting. Its human nature to love and cradle cats …. And the bond these cats and their people have. To sit together for hours to get a painting to attempt to immortalize the love you two shared

Let me show you these charming paintings by a French artist Léon Comerre! I like to think these ladies were like "me and my kitty look so cute together, we must get a portrait made of us so that everyone knows how we love each other" 💕

(Also, having matching ribbons with your cat is the loveliest idea ever 🎀)

Meanwhile, I'm a fan of this Gainsborough, where, if you squint, you can see the outline of a furious cat who was not about to be in this portrait:

biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

i dont understand how he/him lesbians and she/her gays are so confusing to people

they're. they're just using. pronouns. they're just using pronouns that's all

some of you will be like "respect everyone's pronouns or else😡" and then when a cis gay man uses she/her pronouns you suddenly don't understand how to use correct pronouns bc you don't think it matches with her sexuality, or a cis lesbian woman will use he/him pronouns and you'll harass him for not being feminine enough and accuse him of being trans or whatever. like can some of you people make up your damn minds do you respect people's pronouns or is your respect only for people you can strictly label and understand lmao.

being a pepper plant has to be so weird.

Imagine evolving capsaicin specifically to stop mammals from eating your fruits, and then a mammal comes along that not only will eat your fruits, but likes them specifically because of the capsaicin, so much that it starts using its weird paws to distribute and care for your seeds, which turns into a strong selective force that literally starts evolving you into producing MORE capsaicin and makes you a WAY more successful and wider ranged species than you ever were before

simply because this mammal LOVES Pain Chemical. that evolved specifically to produce pain in mammals. It's not that the capsaicin isn't WORKING. It's just that these freaks like it.

This is the same mammal with social instincts so goddamn strong that they literally try to form social bonds with their predators, and end up evolving the predators into a new species that fits into their social communities as a form of mutualistic symbiosis, and exists in several different forms with unique morphology and behaviors based on the function they perform.

Instead of, I don't know, EVOLVING TO BE FASTER, this animal finds a faster animal and sits on it. Which shouldn't even work because the faster animal is a prey animal and this animal is a predator, but SOMEHOW they FORM A SOCIAL BOND WITH THE PREY. So they can sit on it while it runs fast. And somehow the prey animal?? is cool with this?? and benefits from this relationship???

Literally how can you hate humans. Humans are possibly the most hilarious thing evolution has ever done.

other things humans have done

humans worldwide looking up into the celestial vault of stars a million light years away, separated from Earth by the deadly cold and emptiness of space: I bet there are guys up there to form social bonds with

there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.

like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything

THE BOY

Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).  

The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.

You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.

And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.

And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.

BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.

Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.

This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.

Gentleman, if I might add:

yes you may add this

I think balance in crypdids is VERY IMPORTANT.

@spiritspodcast

hey, um, i’ve got some bad news. we gave your boyfriend a tape recorder and uh. yeah, he’s a horror podcast protagonist now….yeah, the horrors got him

A large part of housecat vocalisation toward humans isn’t goal-directed communication, but rather, affiliative signaling: a simple call-and-response protocol which establishes that the participants are part of the same social unit. Amongst themselves, most housecat affiliative signaling is non-vocal, but humans aren’t really physiologically equipped to respond to such signalling in a feline fashion, and cats, well, they’re adaptable.

Which is to say that when your cat yells, and you yell back, so the cat yells again, and so forth, what you’re really saying to each other is “hiiiiii~”.

This is why it is important to meow at loved ones.

A largish percentage of human vocalizations are this, too!  When your human co-worker says “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” or comments on atmospheric conditions or other readily-observable features of your surroundings, or generally statements that seemingly convey no useful or novel information whatsoever, the true purpose of these vocalizations is to develop and/or maintain the social unit of the workplace!   In effect, they are saying, “We are experiencing this situation together.  We often experience situations together.  Let’s be allies!”

Some humans will even make vocalizations of this kind to complete strangers, such as when waiting in a line or using public transportation.  This behavior is especially common in situation that may involve some form of inconvenience or frustration, such as waiting in a long line or experiencing a delay.  In these contexts, the vocalizations communicate, “We are both experiencing the same unpleasant situation; let’s not make it worse by being aggressive to one another.”  

Classic sea shanties like:

"I fucking hate this ship and I cannot wait to get off."

"I got off the ship on the dock but I know I'm going to get back on the ship when my leave is up. Fuck."

"Storm."

"Big storm."

"Is it just me or does this ship have like. Really clean lines. Like damn. Okay. Not saying I'm feeling attracted to the ship, per se, but. Damn."

"Sometimes you see weird shit that you cannot explain and you just kinda have to shrug and go. Welp."

Not to forget crowd favorites like:

"Pull harder or we are all going to die."

"Bad working conditions."

"Fucking pay me my wages, you asshole."

And the perennial favourites:

"God I Need A Drink"

"I Am Drunk And Cannot Find My Clothing"

"Listen To This Cautionary Tale Of: Don't Fall Overboard"

"My Sweetheart Has Left Me, Guess I'll Go Be Miserable At Sea"

"Whale. Big Fish."

"The Food Sucks. So Do The Wages. And The Mate Is A Bastard."

"Spent All My Money, Oops."

"Our Ship Can Kick Your Ship's Stern."

"Shipwreck."

"Nautical Gibberish That Was Probably Once Actual Words, Maybe."

"Hey, Remember That Guy? He's Dead."

"I Have Not Seen A Woman In Six Months."

"Mapquest Directions, But Rhyming."

"Whatever You Do, Don't Go To Sea. Goodbye, I'm Off To Sea."

NO

YOU

“your rent should be a third of your income” well wouldn’t that be nice. wouldn’t it. lower the rent pussy

Casual observation from someone old enough to remember: in the year 2000 financial advice was that rent should be no more than 1/4 of your income.

Jonathan flipping through his little pocket dictionary as people point at him while chattering about satan and werewolves: Duolingo didn’t cover this vocabulary :(

How is Jonathan spending this month in Castle Dracula? Wrong answers only.

He’s chucking all of Dracula’s possessions out the window, one at a time, as revenge for Dracula taking his. Its gradual enough that Dracula doesnt really notice until he walks into a room and is like “… Why is there nothing in this room?”

The pile of stuff outside Jonathans window becomes so large that it can reach to his window from the ground and Jonathan realizes he can climb down it and escape. So he does.

In July, Dracula must go on an adventure to IKEA to replace all the furniture Jonathan threw out the window.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

for context:

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

Hope yall  like my abomination

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar

Okay the funniest thing about this is that everyone’s saying I’m taking away his space by putting things in the window

He has this entire one right next to it with a blankie and he uses it exclusively for people watching. He really only goes to the other window when he decides to be A Menace

Also his name is Banjo

He as a stroller

Omg there been updates!!

Making a weighted velvet baikal seal plushie :3

Head and tail end are stuffed w ultra plush fiber fill and the bulk of the body is packed full of weighted pellets that have a nice crunchy sound when you squeeze it. Not weighed yet, but it feels between 1.5 - 2lbs?

She doesn't even have her mouth and flippers yet!!!! She's fucking embarrassassed...

Smelling you

Finished! My mom named her Beans this morning lol.. She's around 1.2lbs and soppingly pitiful

everybody loves beans

I got an ask that disappeared at some point, about my existential crisis possum mug being wrecked and if I was making another.

this mug, I assume:

I did make a copy of this one, but forgot to take pictures lol. it’s still slowly drying on my shelf

I also carved a canine take on the mug too:

and I made an entirely different existential crisis possum mug just for fun

[ID: The first two images are a mug with text drawn next to a screaming possum. The text reads "I will not go gentle into that good night" on one side and "I'm gonna be a huge bitch about it" on the other. The video is a silent video of an unglazed replica of that mug spinning on a pottery wheel. The fourth, fifth, and sixth images are of a different mug. The first is text reading "I know everything happens for a reason", the second is a possum next to the text, staring off in horror. The third image is text on the back of the mug reading "but what the fuck"

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

#loony toons bonk and wilhelm scream

@scp-1296 you understand me

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

I'm so excited for @re-dracula, y'all have no idea what you're in for

Never forget that Dracula, one of the most iconic villains in all of media, is first introduced wearing a fake beard and a big hat to pretend to be his own carriage driver

thank you @fangirl-ofrandomness for including @slickshoesareyoucrazy ’s tags!