he works at dust2

Me when razputin is up in there and i feel something shift

the d&d character who will fuck anything with a hole and a pulse: why is this treasure chest looking kinda...😳

YOU'LL CATCH A JPEG TO THE HEAD

Americans be like "the asbestos pills at the gas station put a little pep in my step"

me watching you fall for the ol' neurotoxin-laced nipple ring trick

The temptation to make fun of someones looks is the strongest integrity killer in the universe. Nobody's safe. The reason they keep the pope isolated in vatican from all earthly media is so he doesn't accidentally blurt out "you look like sid from ice age" to anybody

fungi of all kinds when they see anything thats soppin fucking wet enough:

Zack de la rocha: Yo yall check this out (pulls out monkey's paw) (crowd gasps) (Zack stares at the paw mesmerized for a while) It said it can grant my wishes… but also that I will pay a horrible price for tampering with fate. So I thought to myself.. aint no price big enough after the revolution, right? (crowd laughs, cheers) So I said: "I want all my words to become reality"… and then it curled. This happened yesterday. Since yesterday, I've been imbued with the power... and I've been watching my words real careful since then… but the time is now! It's over! All enemies of the people drop dead NOW!

𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 (huge chunks in the audience alongside festival staff and other musicians clutch their hearts and keel over)

Zack de la Rocha: Now that's more like it. Okay, next one up is Bulls on Parade! (now smaller crowd cheers terrifiedly) Come wit it now! Ugh! Come wit it now! Tha microphone explodes--

𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 (tha microphone explodes)

historians in the future will dig up evidence of coin flips and using random.org to get raffle results and then go "it was probably used for divination purposes"

kendall jenner starts world war 3 by walking into the korean DMZ holding a can of pepsi

first paragraph whiplash claims yet another victim