*gets ignored by crush* Fuck It. fuck it. from now on I’m living for ME. I am going to stay hydrated, moisturize, take care of myself and my body, work on loving myself first. I am going to focus on me and stop spending energy on others and getting caught up in gratuitous ideas of romance *crush texts back* They are The One
sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal
I’m loving this new raw food diet I’m on! Who knew it could taste so good!
so attractive when a guy is only focused on one girl
*a Michaels employee* sir, some teens are spelling curse words with the wood letters and squatting next to them again
all i want is to someday have a friendship as good as Ash and Pikachu’s
Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.
THIS IS IMPORTANT
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.
2016 so far…
Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime
also, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver
“drive into that pole” thanks karen or i could not do that
Perfect
you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class
“maybe they poisoned you” maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-g
OHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY
My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.
“did I lock the door-”
captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door
I told my new psychiatrist about how I learned this from y'all and his eyes lit up. He didn’t smile but he did nod a whole bunch of times, it was great.
I like to pretend that my intrusive thoughts are being said to me by a super uptight religious white lady
“god hates you because you don’t believe in him” “your failures are too great to be forgiven by anyone” “everything you do is wrong and you are going to burn in hell”
thanks for the input brenda but fuck right off
I would just like to say that I love you all for this idea.
Reblogging this for a friend.
what she says: I’m fine what she means: i don’t understand the concept of mermaid man and barnacle boy. are they supposed to be average sized humans? if they are then does that mean that spongebob and all the citizens of bikini bottom are actually human sized? how did they get so big? how come in the spongebob movie when spongebob and patrick are on the beach they are so tiny compared to david hasselhoff and the other people on the beach? are these regular sized human beings or are they actually giants? if they’re regular size then why are mermaid man and barnacle boy so tiny? how did they get that tiny?
who cares about hashtags when there’s hashbrowns







