Not Hungry

GUESS WHOS DOWN 11 LBS IN A WEEK??

Anyways this is a good luck spell, from your friendly neighborhood Satan. Lose 11 lbs in a week, like to charge reblog to cast.

GUESS WHOS DOWN 11 LBS IN A WEEK??

Anyways this is a good luck spell, from your friendly neighborhood Satan. Lose 11 lbs in a week, like to charge reblog to cast.

— Virginia Woolf, The Letters of Virginia Woolf: 1888-1912

straight up. I’m so fucking tired of being fat. I’ve been wanting to be skinny for so fucking long, and yet I’m still just as pathetic as I was 5yrs ago. 

tw // egospo i think??

look at all the power you have, you can lose weight anytime you want to. you have the power to become the weight you want to. just work hard and you’ll reach your goal before you expect.

Farewell online privacy

What happened?

Trump happened.

just get a VPN?

You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. 

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. 

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. 

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! 

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. 

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. 

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research! 

I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it. 

Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. 

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. 

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. 

Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

@earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruins advice. Do your own research first. 

@elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). 

Sources

To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

Reblogging again bc this is important

We have a VPN you should get one too

Please read.

Can you get them for your phones?

^ you can. & when you have a subscription you can use it on your phone and computer. no need for separate subs or purchases.

it is absolutely so important for safety. but one of my fave things to do with my vpn is access non-US netflix. I mean other places have all the new good place eps, all the ‘classic’ bggo eps…

IMPORTANT

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

Monsterfucking leads to monsterparenting

I want to boost everything this person has said and add on.

The reason I call myself a tomboy now, despite it being seen as a childish word and having had someone swear at me over it because ‘tHeRe’S nO suCh thInG as BoY thInGs anD giRL thIngS sHut uP’ is because I couldn’t call myself that or be like that when I was a kid. It was seen as a negative thing and I was already bullied enough. “Looking like a boy” was the worst thing that could happen to a girl.

And I’m not even 26 yet. We aren’t talking 30+ years ago, we are talking 2000s and even 2010s. It’s only since trans people have become more accepted in the past few years that gender nonconformity has too.

And the people who helped me accept my gender nonconformity more than anyone else? Were trans people. They taught me, “there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. You’re still a valid woman no matter what you wear, how you have your hair or what you’re into ❤️”

And don’t even get me started on how people treat gender nonconforming men. JK Rowling has a lot of nerve to be like “uwu boys can wear dresses and only us gendercrits accept that!” when she has, even in recent works, made femininity in men a negative trait, as well as making masculinity in women a negative trait also.

A lot of people still don’t accept gnc people even now. Just last year I had someone tell me they’d never let their daughter “dress like a boy”, and I’m always terrified to walk into a bathroom in case the next JK Rowling is in there, sees my gender expression and pepper sprays me or worse.

“There’s no such thing as boy things and girl things.” I don’t need to be told that and I’m sure 99% of trans people also don’t need to be told that. Tell that to the society that hates us both instead of actively encouraging that hate.

Gonna point out the og tweet thread is now full of terfs saying that life was better for gay people in the fucking 80s, that it was super easy for them to be a tomboy in the 70s and 80s and therefore it must have been that way for everyone, and that it was totally acceptable to be a gnc gay person in the 80s! 🤪

They’re rewriting history as we speak to try to argue trans acceptance is making it harder to be gay and gnc for youth than it was to be gay in the 80s. This is a blatant lie.

The fucking 80s??? As in, “aids crisis” 80s?? As in, “the government actively avoided funding research to help gay people” 80s????

Man I knew terfism was brain rot but I didn’t think it was this bad.

Actually I'm not going to just keep this in the tags

one of my favorite genres of discourse is when people try valiantly to take fictional (and often fantastical) scenarios and compare them to real life standards to make them more problematic

“I can’t believe that 300 year old vampire finds a 20 year old attractive” they’re literally an undead creature of the night that kills people susan

this is a bad opinion and you should feel bad

typing up my apology statement on iPhone notes rn

I dream of being with you forever. Forever? Twilight (2008) Dir. Catherine Hardwicke

actually i’m tired of reading good social comics and then the bad guys of the comic (police, nazis, misogynists, politicians) are all fat, with double chins or neckbeards or bald spots or stretch marks or they’re hairy or they have acne etc. and usually they’re the only ones with those features. like??? can we stop equating beauty with morality holy shit?

- Jennifer Coates, I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

mary oliver flare \ anne sextion a self-portrait in letters \ joseph lorusso \ leonard cohen lover lover lover \ anne sexton a self-portrait in letters \ barbara kroll \ anne sexton eighteen days without you: love poems \ celia paul

i learned that Playboy ran a story that depicted a future where homosexuality was the norm, heterosexuality was outlawed and anti-straight mobs marched the streets. Outraged letters poured in. He responded “If it was wrong to persecute heterosexuals in a homosexual society, then the reverse was wrong, too.” (x)

some things i learned while hospitalised

- that dizzy feeling you have when you stand up? that has to do with orthostatics, or your change in heart rate from sitting to standing. a normal change is 10-20 bpm, most people with ed's is in the 80s to 100s, the more malnourished (NOT underweight. those are different things) you are, the worse it is. this is bc your heart is weak and can't keep up with pumping blood through your body, it's not something quirky or fun, you could pass out and seriously injure yourself or have a heart attack.

- as i mentioned above, UNDERWEIGHT AND MALNOURISHED ARE NOT THE SAME THING. you can be 'overweight' and be malnourished, you can be a 'healthy' weight and be malnourished, it's not about weight it's about how you are fuelling your body. not getting enough protein and minerals can make you malnourished. not getting enough carbs and fat and sugar can make you malnourished. it's not about weight.

- laxatives are insanely harmful. i know we all say it. but it's true. your body won't be able to digest food properly, you won't be able to shit without them, the bloating and intestinal damage caused can be permanent. in hospital, they gave us stool softeners once a week if we really needed them because they are less harmful than traditional lax, but still not safe.

- the 'sick enough' mentality is BULLSHIT. i was admitted at an 18 BMI, there were people in there with overweight BMIs, there was only ONE girl who looked like the stereotypical hollywood '13 BMI' ED shit. if you are reading this post from your edblr, you are clearly sick enough to get help. ed's are not, and never have been, about weight. those who suffer worry about weight, sometimes, but the diagnosis and effects on our lives revolve around our relationship with FOOD. and the damage that causes our bodies and minds.

- there's a million different ed's. my official diagnosis is Anorexia (Binge/Purge subtype). i never made myself sick. i purged with severe exercise. what's the difference between that and bulimia? according to my doctor (who i slightly disagree with) it's about restriction, as supposedly bulimics don't restrict, only binge/purge. i didn't know there were different types of anorexia, let alone OSFED, AFRID or PICA. and even those can be broken into subtypes. the point im trying to make is: not everyone binges, not everyone restricts, not everyone is worried about body image, not everyone exercises, not everyone purges. EVERY EATING DISORDER IS DIFFERENT.

- you never fully recover. ever. just like any other mental illness, you can treat symptoms, you can get therapy, you can build a healthy relationship with food and self, but every once in a while, those thoughts will always come back. it gets easier to push them away, to treat them like fleeting thoughts, but they're still there. im not saying this to scare anyone away from recovery, if you're thinking about it, PLEASE RECOVER. most things go back to normal-ish, things do get better, but there seems to be an idea that recovery is black and white. it will be hard, you will have days you want to relapse, you will never fully get rid of the thoughts, but you sure as hell can quiet them. recovery is always worth it, and every single person deserves it.

- men with ed's are more likely than you think. the actual statistic is estimated at about 50/50. what's the difference? men tend not to seek help. trans men are at severely higher risk for eating disorders than cis men or women. those gym bros who work out 24/7 and only eat protein? that's an ed. maybe less obviously, most teenage-early adult men don't eat all day, and then have large amounts of food at dinner. my roommates, for example, don't eat all day, then will have take away from 3 different places, a family box or cereal and two boxes of mac and cheese in what is, effectively, a binge. but they don't count calories, they don't really worry about body image. because ed's aren't about that. it's about your relationship with food.

- you can and will stunt your development if you're a teenager. your body won't produce the needed hormones from puberty (including growth, muscle/bone development, and sex characteristics) when malnourished, meaning you can fuck up your strength, bone density, height, and pretty much all other aspects of puberty with an ed. that never comes back. recovering when you're older than puberty age won't make you suddenly start to develop. you will, essentially, be stuck in a semi-developed body for life. one girl in hospital was on an estrogen supplement because of this, it helped her to get a little stronger/develop a little bit, but no where near what it should have been.

basically: eds are scary shit and im so sorry to anyone who has had to go through it. please don't ever take your disorder lightly, it could kill you. you are always worthy of recovery. you are loved, you are important, you are needed in this world.

Matt created an important update. 

[ Matt Bors ]

Parallel Earth.

AMAZING

I LOVE

The Grad Student Shuffle- Christ Fleming

I hate that nobody ever talks about the in between with benadryl. Its always the "i take one every day for my allergies" or "i took 40 once and had an experience that has given me lifelong trauma" nobody ever talks about how sometimes people take 6-8 and it becomes a problem because its such a euphoric high especially for me because of my adhd it slows my brain down and keeps me from panicking about feeling like im not real. Nobody fucking talks about it. I know im not the only person in the world whos addicted to it in this way, i know im not, yet ive never seen a word about it anywhere. The withdrawals fucking suck it feels like thr flu without all the coughing and shit i sit there shivering no matter how many blankets im under, nauseous as fuck but cant puke, head hurting like a bitch, im paranoid as hell, everything scares me. Its just as bad as any other drug, and its even worse really because its legal and already an addictive substance.

Just because its legal doesnt mean it cant cause problems.

Dont try it, seriously. I got addicted after my first time trying it.

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend

not to sound fucked up but i will never be completely at peace until my outer appearance is satisfactory to me