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Platypus is not on fire

@platypusisnotonfire / platypusisnotonfire.tumblr.com

Wolves go "OOOOOO" and coyotes go "AAAAAAA" get it right

Oh damn

I just realized that Star Trek voyager is my “rise and fall of sanctuary moon”

1. It’s the show I watch when I don’t have enough processing power/emotional energy to parse anything new

2. It’s the show I watch when I’m sick/In pain and can’t even follow a storyline but like the voices to keep me company

3. It’s the first media I remember engaging with. Like, certainly I watched movies/shows before that but it was the first one I was old enough to relate to and base world concepts on. I was already in The Trauma™️ and it gave me an anchor of “I would rather spend time with these fictional people than any of the people in real life” and furthermore, “I would rather be like these fictional people than any of the people in real life”

4. If ART played the voyager theme song in my feed, it would absolutely calm me down.

you know what worldhoppers canonically is with the serial numbers filed off, actually? (It's not Trek but it's almost as funny.)

I do and it’s fantastic lol

Oh damn

I just realized that Star Trek voyager is my “rise and fall of sanctuary moon”

1. It’s the show I watch when I don’t have enough processing power/emotional energy to parse anything new

2. It’s the show I watch when I’m sick/In pain and can’t even follow a storyline but like the voices to keep me company

3. It’s the first media I remember engaging with. Like, certainly I watched movies/shows before that but it was the first one I was old enough to relate to and base world concepts on. I was already in The Trauma™️ and it gave me an anchor of “I would rather spend time with these fictional people than any of the people in real life” and furthermore, “I would rather be like these fictional people than any of the people in real life”

4. If ART played the voyager theme song in my feed, it would absolutely calm me down.

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Comedic potential of Loki with any of the OG Avengers is unmatched.

Thor: literally brothers. Does the adoption play into this? Does the alien culture play into this? How long has this being going on? Did this legit start AFTER Loki became a villain? What is Thor on??

Natasha: rogue on rogue violence. stealing the only female member of the team fr

Tony: their first meeting had Tony thrown out a window so I guess that’s an indicator of what they’re into?? They probably don’t have arguments bc they both have PTSD so there’s a benefit

Steve: legitimately a National Icon of Righteousness. natural progression for a trickster archetype. The blonde haired blue eyed one. What are Thor’s thoughts on this.

Clint: at least one of them has committed serious hate crimes on the other. Clint is going to be made fun of so much for this. Stockholm syndrome REAL??! Not clickbait!!!!!! 🚨

Bruce: love at first smash. Violent criminal falls in love with softhearted comfy clothes Avenger

op how could you hide this in the tags

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Natasha staring at herself in the mirror: romance is a pipe dream. I’ve lived 70 years without that nonsense and I’ll live 70 more the same way.

Loki, head in his hands, has been staring at a spot in the carpet for an hour: [same conundrum but x15 the length of time]

So it's Katniss and Peeta, but the game is scrabble not the Hunger Games

Echos is one of my favorite Loki fics of all time and it’s believable slow burn Loki/Nat. There’s a few in the Echos-verse and they are one of the fanfics I would actually want to print and bind into a paper book.

This mysterious “chicken church” is located in the middle of the Indonesian jungle. The abandoned building itself is quite bizarre but even more bizarre is the fact that there are 12 underground chambers.

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Glad to see we’re all on the same page

mf has never seen a dove

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

someone: oh yeah, do this exercise during your warm ups! it’ll help

me: my what

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What’s up I have an actual college degree in art and I was never ONCE taught to do warm ups.

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when i was in undergrad, it was kind of mentioned in and offhand way that we should do warmups, but we were never shown what that meant. And, y’know, we were young so it didn’t matter so much. 

Being older now and having an art job it’s…kind of essential. 

So: a quick primer for those of you who are like ‘ok but how do i actually go about doing this warmup thing.’ 

1) you may be tempted to do ‘a warmup drawing’ which is just a drawing that will take longer than it needed to and probably be frustrating and kind of bad because you didn’t warm up first. It’s tempting but always a trick your brain is playing on you! Do not trust! 

2) warmups will vary based on what feels good to you/what task you’re about to do/what motor skills you want to practice. That being said, some good standbys:

a) circles. Just a whole page of circles on whatever drawing surface you’re going to be using, whether that’s your tablet or your sketchbook or a drawing pad on an easel. For these circles you should make sure that you’re drawing from your shoulder and not your wrist. In fact, you want to be drawing from your shoulder rather than your wrist most of the time! forever! your wrist is delicate please preserve it! 

In order to ensure that you’re drawing from your shoulder, when you’re holding your pencil or whatever drawing tool you’re using, the only part of your hand that should be touching the drawing surface is part of the last two fingers–some people prefer the finger tips, but I tend to favor the first knuckles. Either way, the fingers should really be ghosting over the surface, providing guidance rather than support. 

I usually start with big circles and then go to smaller circles and lines of ellipses, and then try to fit circles and ellipses inside other shapes i’ve already drawn as a precision exercise, but i don’t do that unless i’m feeling loose

b) spirals! i don’t always do spirals, but if i’m stiff and the circles just aren’t cutting it, spirals are a good fall back. I start from the center and work outward, going both clockwise and counterclockwise until i feel comfortable with the whole range of motion. Some people really care about getting perfect spirals but for me it’s all about making sure i’m comfortable with how i’m moving so who really even cares about how the spirals look. Not me! 

c) lines! straight lines! in parallel! i do a mix of vertical, horizontal, and diagonal. These are often more from the elbow than the shoulder, especially if I’m working on a smaller surface. For this exercise, I recommend holding the drawing tool perpendicular with the surface

d) connect the dots. This is a precision and accuracy exercise and takes two forms. The first is to draw two dots and then draw a straight line between them. The second is to draw three dots and draw the curve that connects them. This sounds a lot simpler than it is in practice. Take time to ghost over the line you plan to draw before actually committing to your line. (I don’t always remember where I picked up my warm up exercises, but I’m pretty sure I got this one from Scott Robertson. His how to draw and how to render books are very technical but also accessible and worth checking out)

e) cubes, spheres, cones, and cylinders. These help get your brain into a more volumetric space. I draw multiples of each, rotating the forms around, and I’ll often take the time to do some rough shading on at least a few of them

f) spidermans! This one is really good if you’re going to be storyboarding or working on dynamic poses. Just fill a page full of spidermans doing all sorts of acrobatics. 

g) beans. I don’t do beans too much anymore, but I know a lot of people like it so I’m mentioning it here. Fill an area with different size bean shapes without lifting your pencil off the paper. 

h) short medium and long line repetition. draw a short, medium, and long line on your page, and then draw directly on top of them 8 to 12 times, doing your best to exactly trace what you’ve already drawing. Repeat with a wavy line. I’m bad at this one, which means I probably need to do it more. 

And there are lots more options too! Hit up youtube to see what other people recommend, put together your own go-to list, mix it up when you’re getting bored, etc. 

This is a long list, I know, but I usually don’t take more than 10 to 15 minutes to warm up, and I can warm up one handed while I’m drinking coffee, so, multitasking hurrah. 

Sometimes I’ll advance to a precision warmup and find that I haven’t loosened up enough yet; it’s totally ok to go back to an earlier exercise! Also, all of this has the added benefit of kind of ritualistically getting you into the drawing mode so even if I’m not feeling it before I start, by the time I’ve gotten to the end I’m usually Ready For Drawin’. Brain hacks. 

so, yeah! that’s a lot of words, but! Warmups are important! Save your joints, take less advil, do better drawings! 

How on earth are you supposed to draw from a sholder? might as well tell me to draw from the foot. It makes no sense

Reblogging to save a wrist

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

  • the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
  • That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
  • oh, that hurt
  • I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
  • the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
  • on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
  • I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
  • The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
  • God.
  • for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
  • it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”

The last three digits of your current follower count is the Dewey Decimal Classification subject on which you must immediately give a 15-minute presentation.

How would you do?

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help, I’m wheezing, oh my god

I would fail so badly