Sign me the fuck up

#lovelybottom

The Witcher (2019-)

Hey uh op…. where’s your url…

there’s no url because god sent this post down to us

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

sometimes it just ends up being something like

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

nah whenever this appears on my dash i laugh for years

Yoo...the ww3 arc is gonna be so lit

Don’t speak to me or my children ever again

Maya

My favorite part of the plague doctor outfit is the walking stick because it was mostly used to examine patients without touching them but apparently it was also used to keep people a respectable distance from the doctor.

Someone sick with bubonic plague: doctor please I'm--

Some goth harbinger of death crow-looking dude: get the fuck away from me *slaps him with a stick*

Apparently plague doctors would also sometimes offer it to patients to use for self-flagellation in the hopes that God would forgive them and take away their plague

Someone sick with bubonic plague: doctor....please ....

Goth harbinger of death crow-looking dude: *holding out walking stick* I prescribe you 50cc's of go beat the shit out of yourself

Sick peasant: please, there has to be something you can do to help me-

Plague doctor: VIBE CHECK

Detroit: Become Angry Because You Clicked the Wrong Button

My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

fingers in his ass sunday

you know what day it is

addicted to fingers in his ass sunday

Last one of the decade lets fuck it up

Morgan & Tony Comics

OH MY GOD THAT’S SO ADORABLE, LOOK HIS THAT EARNEST FACE, HE’S SO FUCKN CUTE

HE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED AND HAVE SOME FANS TO APPRECIATE THEM, HOW COULD YOU SAY NO TO SOMETHING AS PURE AS THAT

This is literally the last month you can reblog this joke