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My favorite Gordon Ramsay moment is when his food was too slow so he took a jog and then fell asleep

Same

what happened here?

Jack (the horse) is 28 years old and instead of putting him in a turnout pen during the day we just let him roam the property. He usually sticks around the barn, grazing or just standing around. But his favorite thing to do is lay down in various random spots that he feels are comfortable. Every morning after they drag the arena footing he goes and flops down in the soft dirt. Whenever we get a new shipment of shavings you better believe Jack is right there rolling in them once the truck leaves.

This was one of his ground-softness-testings. The aisle is all rubber so it’s not hard but I doubt it was very comfortable. Jack would beg to differ.

R u sure that cat did not defeat horse in battle

Most 28 year olds would have their own place by now but whatever Jack

Being kind to ghosts is a Jewish value

I was just telling my coworkers today about how part of the official Passover cedar is literally summoning an ancient ghost to get drunk with you and I didn’t quite realize how wild Judaism is until I had to explain that

Objection: Elijah never died, so whatever he is, it isn’t a ghost.

look i googled “passover elijah” and this is the first image result

if it looks like a ghost and quacks like a ghost it’s a fuckin g ghost

That’s my grandpa

Elijah Never Died He Tucked His Arms And Legs Into His Belley. Curled Up Into A Ball. And He Just Rolled Away.

We have no conclusive proof that Elijah wasn’t always eight feet tall and translucent. 

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

i feel the need to reblog bc i just scrolled past this kind of post and my life is hell lol so hi

Guess I’m reblogging it smh

The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly. 

The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It’s called the Elephant’s Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across.

Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant’s Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

Friendly reminder that this blob of core material was so hot and dense, it melted/burned through three floors of the building before coming to rest in the lowest basement.

And there’s now a unique species of black mold that feeds off the gamma radiation it produces.

Is no one else seriously freaked out by that mold? No? Just me, then?

wiki article about the mold

LOVE that mold!

okay but

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy was someone shooting it with a kalashnikov

dps check

I mean, the Elephant’s Foot is very very dangerous, but it wouldn’t kill you instantly. When it was first created about a minute of exposure would give you a fatal dose (x, x). That number is now around one hour. And yes, that photo was taken with mirrors, but you know which one wasn’t?

Yeah, this is a selfie. The guy set the timer on the camera and went and stood by it, and it produced this horrifying image that now haunts my dreams. The reason all the photos from Chernobyl are grainy and poor-quality, by the way, is due to radiation. The cameras were fine; radiation just… does that.

Anyway, that guy’s name is Artur Korneyev- and I use ‘is’ because he’s still alive! He helped to build the original sarcophagus which encased reactor 4 after the meltdown, and kept going back inside with reporters to be like ‘look how fuckin weird this is’. He helped plan the New Safe Confinement which now surrounds the sarcophagus, and would probably have helped build it too if they didn’t full-on ban him.

A quote:

Possibly the coolest guy alive? I’m tempted to think so.

Honestly, I feel like Chernobyl has been shunted into this category of like, ‘a lot of innocent and naive people died horribly’, when in reality a lot of tough as fuck people saved everybody else. The oft-told story of the ‘suicide mission’ to dive into the reactor and open the valves of the pool? Yeah, all three of the men who dove lived. One died in 2005 of heart failure; the other two are still alive.

A total of 31 direct and 15 indirect deaths are thought to have occurred from the Chernobyl disaster. Long-term deaths are… difficult to measure. Oh, and there’s a few hundred people still living in the exclusion zone.

If you’re at all interested, I really recommend reading up about Chernobyl- and, in particular, what was done to contain it and deal with the radiation. This is a beautiful write-up, and the wiki page is also worth checking out.  A lot of people did absolutely incredible work and it goes unrecognised most of the time.

And yeah, fungus is always the fucking weirdest.

I know very little about the Chernobyl incident beyond the basics, but finding out that they built a sarcophagus to contain part of it is metal as fuck and I’m into it

So you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant? That’s because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.

The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

Today we were walking along and he asked me “How many Octobers is it today?” I told him it was the 21st. 

He tried a bite of his hot soup at dinner and made a face and said “Mama, my soup is a little too temperature for me.”

Upon being served 1% milk for the first time, instead of his regular 2%: “is this water?”

Me: “no, it’s milk”

Kid: “but are you sure?”

Came up to me the other day, the middle of his pants totally soaked, and said “mama, I’m having a situation called ‘I peed in my pants.’”

I don’t think I even told you guys about the six months he spent saying “fuck” instead of “truck.”

I have to laugh at the folks in the notes claiming this is fake because “no 2-yr old is that advanced”. My guys, I work at a daycare almost exclusively with 2-3 year olds and let me tell you some of the wild shit I heard this last week alone,

“Uhhh, i ASSUME we’re going to the playground soon??” -2.5 year old girl

“[3 year old boy] pushed me because he doesn’t have a manners.” -2 yr old girl

“Did you spill your water?” “No no no no it’s not a concern” -2 yr old boy (while running away, dripping wet)

Kids are hilarious and smarter than you think

When my sister was 2, I had gotten her into saying polysyllabic words so she’d randomly scream things like, “SHIVERING” and “HYPERBOLE” at people!

Honestly the biggest disappointment I had researching ABC was that medieval authors did not, in fact, see the creatures they were describing and were trying their best to describe them with their limited knowledge while going “what the fuck… what the fuck…”

Instead all those creatures you know came about from transcription and translation errors from copying Greco-Roman sources (who themselves got them from travelers’ tales from Persia and India - rhino -> unicorn, tiger -> manticore, python -> dragon, and so on).

So unicorns are real

behold… a unicorn

I always thought animals in medieval manuscripts looked like the result of having to draw say. A Tree Kangaroo, but your only source for what it looked like was your friend who heard it from a fellow who knows a man who swears he saw one once, whilst very drunk and lost, and I am SO PLEASED  to find out this is, in fact, the case.

Questing Beast

- Neck of a snake

- body of a leopard

- haunches of a lion

- feet off a hart (deer)

So is it

Or….

don’t forget that some of the legendary creatures they were describing were from other people’s mythos which were passed down in the oral tradition for gods know how long. You know what existed in Eurasia right around the time we were domesticating wolves into dogs?

these beasties. For a long time, science had them down as going extinct 200 thousand years ago, but then we found some bones from 36 thousand years ago. Which, y’know, is quite a difference. Since you can bet that any skeleton we find is not literally the last one of its kind to live, many creatures have date ranges unknowably far outside the evidence.

In South Asia there were cultures that described a man-beast/troll forrest giant  who’s knuckles dragged the ground, and everybody from the west was sure it was superstitious mumbo jumbo, but you know what used to live there?

And did you know that some of the earliest white colonizers of the Americas heard accounts that there were natives still alive who had seen and hunted and eaten a great hairy beast, shaggy like the buffalo but much bigger, with a long thin nose like a snake and two giant fangs… so, like, mammoths, you know? but they were totally discounted because europeans of the time were like, elephants live in Africa and aren’t hairy, you can’t fool us, pranksters!

Anyway, the point is between the early writing game of telephone description thing talked about by OP, and the discounting of native cultural accuracy, I’m pretty sure most legendary creatures are in fact real animals one way or another 

Bad Cats.

OP, you fool. These are THE BEST CATS

Stanley is so chaotic I love him

GEM’S FRIGGIN FACE LMAO

Trans-inclusive language in religious texts is SO IMPORTANT. There is nothing in some young people’s lives that can either validate or dehumanize them so quickly as how they see themselves represented in the words of their religion.

May all who need to see these words find them.

Some more trans Jewish resources! More blessings for gender transition Mikvah ritual for gender transition Blessing for chest binding Prayer for closeting/misgendering yourself Name change ceremony Baby naming ceremony with a single gestational father

This was such a blessing for me to see today! Thank you Adonai for having this come across my timeline.

@lgbtunis

We call musicals unrealistic because people randomly burst into song but I’ve been home alone for like 3 days and I start singing about what I’m doing every 5 minutes

singing in musicals: *perfect harmonies* we’re all in this together!

singing to myself: *one note only* heating up some soup! heating up some soup! ya put it in the microwave and watch it spin around!

if that one scene from atlantis changed you raise your hand

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓

Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.

It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)

Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.

Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.

If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.

As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)

Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good

This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?

As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.

This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.

Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.

And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!

As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!

The clover has finally grown enough for her to munch on again

absolute decadence

Funny way to find out which plant you might like to buy.

Source: apartmenttherapy.com

FOR MY FOLLOWERS THAT HAVE DIFFICULTY CARING FOR PLANTS AND ASK WHAT THEY SHOULD BUY, THIS IS REALLY GREAT!!