A pleasant surprise.

When he goes back into the dirt

i can’t believe this little shit has a completely armored back and then sleeps belly up just to dare predators to fuck with it

This years G/t July - Enchanted

Whats more enchanting than hearing a tiny harpy sing? Probably loads of other stuff but oh well lol

garf :3 💜💙

the full strip

That makes it WORSE

Elon Musk’s attorneys are immolating themselves as we speak

aaaaaa! *girlscampers away from you*

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

This too is yuri

diversity win! these birds that hate eachother are transgender

Welcome to your new house. This one is yours and there isn't another like it anywhere else in the whole world. Take good care of it! You won't ever be able to forget it!

This is your family! They love you! Give them a hug! Don't you recognize them? This is your family. This is your family. This is your family. This is your family. This is your family.

This is your dog. Look at how happy he is to see you. He is wagging his tail! Will you play a game with him? He is wet because he was in the rain. He is warm because he was by the fire. He smells good because dogs always smell good. They always smell good.

This is your backyard! You planted those bushes. You love this back yard! This is your happy place. Aren't you happy? Aren't you happy? This is your happy place. Take a good long look at your backyard! You don't want to forget it next time! You want to be here forever. You're going to be buried here when you die. This is your happy place.

This is your girlfriend. You love her so much. You're not going to have sex with her until after you're married. She loves going to church. You love going to church with her. This is your girlfriend. This is everything you've ever wanted. You're going to start a family with her. This is your girlfriend. You've been married for three years. You love her so much.

Don't you like your new house? Is it too wet? Is it too warm? Dogs always smell too warm. They always do. Why don't you go inside? You love it here. This is your new house! You'll never be able to forget it!

Why don't you like your new house

Welcome to your new house. This one is yours and there isn't another like it anywhere else in the whole world. Take good care of it! You won't ever be able to forget it!

Wait this is funny

This humor is so fucking advanced yet so fucking simple at the same time

Chainsaw Man | チェンソーマン – Chapter 93 ⊙ You & Crappy Movies

we're in some form of worst timeline cause i can't get my mechs cockpit lanced thru by an ace pilot girl who says "forgive me" over the comms and then pulls the lance out and all my blood pours out like she pierced the side of a coke can

if life was fair girls would know exactly how to exploit the weaknesses of my otherwise invincible body and instantly liquefy me with brutal terrible force

why are non-offensive moves even an option in pokemon?? im here to kick ass. have fun wasting a turn with your swords dance mirror shield whatever the fuck while i beat the shit out of you. hope you can still enjoy that raised sp attack stat in poke-hell

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon

A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

A) i was a church organist

B) i made cereals w beer instead of milk

C) i can hold my breath for 40 seconds

Which one is a lie

First one to answer right gets a free shitty drawing

@antifamutantdown what do u want me to draw shittily

This is too much power but I’ll go with a Pikachu trying to murder Winnie the Pooh, and thank you.

FUCK

A short comic I’ve done for @ibenkrutt

Damn lmaoooo

Don’t fuck with a brother who’s well rested