did you know? there is a type of metal chariot, powered by the bone-ichor of ancient dragons, that you can use to access—and quickly traverse—a labyrinthine realm of desolate, pitch-black stone known to scientists as “the american highway system”
be forewarned! the chariot does release a terrible curse that ravages the sky and boils the sea. but the King’s coffers are rich with coin from the Dragonbone Ichor Council, so there aren’t many alternatives <|:^/
Back like one hundred years ago cave women woild have to kill shit with their teeth. And their pussy out. They were also like twenty feet tall and psychic.
shout out to bitches that cant tell you shit about their special interest. the interest that has been with me for the majority of my life is squid and despite the numerous documentaries, articles and marine biology books ive read regarding them i honest to god couldnt tell you a thing about them besides "a squid is an animal that is so cutes"
Lol just found McDonald's doordash on someone's doorstep #hunter #gatherer
That’s literally gathering not hunting or did your dumpy ass kill the burger yourself
I killed the dasher
obsessed with reddit user KnowsPenisesWell debunking a flawed cock size study:
Official Penis Post
this has to be the worst picture ever taken of a football player
i think you mean the best
king
King
shinigamisuit
curiousmorbidity
“Pack it up boys we’ve made a social blunder” is the funniest sentence I’ve ever read 😭😭😭😭😭
"Megan, Can You Do Me a Favor? Can You Fucking Shoot Me?" by Fall Out Boy
A Wave of Fuckor Wracked My Feeble Body by Fall Out Boy
Idk a lot of the backlash to broadening who falls under what terms comes from the need to distinctly fall under the specific label you worked towards…but distance from adjacent labels only limits your allies and puts you in a rigid box you can’t come back out of either.
Saw a post by a trans woman horrified by the concept of having overlapping experience with femboys because “fuck you I am a woman.” You are. A woman with a lot of overlapping experience with a GNC man. You’re not a GNC man. He’s not a woman. And the gap between you two is not a chasm.
“How dare you say trans men are similar to butch lesbians. Trans men are men.” Yeah, men with similar experiences to butch lesbians. The butch lesbian isn’t a man. You aren’t a woman. And the gap between you is not a chasm.
This mindset doesn’t even account for GNC men who also ID as women, trans men who use the label of lesbian. Butch can be a label for a person of either AGAB.
Binary trans people wanna separate themselves from each other and from nonbinary people sooo bad. Now it makes eggs feel like the jump from GNC woman to man is an insurmountable journey. A femboy gets told he’s making a mockery of trans women’s experiences. A transmasc femboy is seen as just a faker. A butch trans lesbian is seen as a faker.
These labels are all just plots on the map, not one side or the other. You journey to the farthest edges and you find twinks and lesbians who look and act identical despite being supposed opposites. It’s all made up, we’re all queer.
Like ultimately I get it. When you’re told you’re a man in a dress you’re going to want to distance yourself from men in dresses. When you’re told you’re a confused girl, it’s tempting to dedicate to proving how you’re nothing like a girl.
I came out and my parents made me promise I’d never change my mind about my identity. I swore off anything that was like my AGAB. I was dedicated to running as fast as I could to the “opposite” gender.
All it did was make it 100x harder to realize I was genderfluid.
How could I miss features and traits and behaviors that were from my AGAB? How could I want to experiment again? What is drag? Is it dressing like my AGAB which makes me uncomfortable…or wait…does it? Is it dressing like the gender I transitioned to but exaggerated? But wait…I already exaggerated dressing like this gender in a desperate attempt to run from my AGAB? Does the parody of this gender make me NOT this gender?
I ran as fast as I could to the opposite wall and bounced off, then upon turning around and seeing an entire room I could move about freely, I got stuck terrified about which wall I was meant to hug.
It made me isolate people I could have connected with. “Transfemme” but you proudly look like a man, are you even trying? “Transmasc” but you wear a dress still? Now they’re gonna think every transmasc should be in a dress!
It makes you enemies with the people in the same boat as you, it makes you enemies with yourself!
“Now that I’m a trans man I can’t hug my friends anymore” “Now that I’m a trans woman, if I wanna retain my boy hobbies I have to do it in a girly way”
THESE RULES ARE MADE UP!!
These rules are self-enforced prisons. Community-enforced prisons.
Women with beards are freedom. Men in skirts are freedom.
Not just freedom to be one of them too but freedom to say “okay if I change my mind that’s okay” or “I’m allowed to keep parts I liked without discarding them to fit.”
Kill the gender cop in your head. I promise you that finding community with the freaks and the weirdos will be a longer lasting source of joy than casting off parts of yourself you like to gain acceptance in a space whose love is conditional.
so... "alternative" forms of payment eh... 😳
took me 4 days to make this so the joke is a bit old now but STILL.
Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL bog and you may find A Friend And Boy…
Disturbing My Afternoon Nap
eliteshielder
im sorry sir
Put Me Back Of Sleep
Turning the brightness all the way down on my phone so the businesswomen on my 7am train can't see me suck shit at sudoku
Hey guys just had the most mid teryaki chicken of my life at the denver airport.
congrats!!!!! im so proud of you!!
I am releasing the beast at Denver airport
What terminal?
Oh you’ll know
trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone
trans girl who doesn’t realize she’s turning into a vampire because she assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting estrogen
post paused, let’s talk about this now
ak-47 knocked my fork out of my bowl of rice while i was talking on the phone to a doctor. she did it again while i was typing this post
Avtomat Kalashnikova
Very funny. This is clearly just someone's cat--
Wait. Zoom in. Enhance. Ahhh, I see now.
AK-47 Type 1 (based on Avtomat Kalashnikova pattern, chambered in 7.62x39mm)
You can tell it's a Type 1 (one of the original production models of the classic AK-47) by the following traits:
Some people believe that the AK-47's loose tolerances make it more resilient to malfunction if it gets dirty, which isn't really all that true. It is, however, a firearm that functions fairly well on very little maintenance.
Which, that's impossible for a cat, of course. So definitely a gun and not a cat.
hey nice work! we were just about to go rob a bank with her
won 15 spider points by taking a spider out of the house and letting it outside. that i can cash in for rewards and prizes at the spider points store
yuri is when girls are traumatized. the more traumatized the girl the more yuri it is