yellow pikmin are my favorite

reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

"A certain critic—for such men, I regret to say, do exist—made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.' He has probably now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have outgeneralled this man by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy."

(P. G. Wodehouse, via Wodehouse Tweets (@inimitablepgw) at Twitter)

swallowing a sword to please my ailing king and i get it down my throat and i start gagging and coughing but im blushin g and shaking alittle and i push it down further and cross my legs for reasons the court does not understand and then i pull the sword out and gasp for air and i like spit on it and my makeups all fucked up and the guards instantly riddle me with crossbow bolts

that little squirrel boy is about to get it

get what

i feel like if you stabbed an angel the blood trail would look like this

Obsessed with this energy tbh

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

– oh, but pods, on the other hand, are fibrous seed containers found on a variety of land plants, including legumes – 

– and seed plants evolved around 350 million years ago during the late Devonian or early Carboniferous period. And that’s why podcasts are called podcasts. Any questions?

Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

Yeah actually I just discovered how to turn plastic into gold. Oh you want to know how I did it

Starts running away cutely

elon musk is literally like a parody. like he cant genuinely fucking be like this like bro is on some satirical depiction of a spoiled rich kid type shit. like hes a cartoon evil rich guy. throwing tantrums bc someone criticized him or said they didnt like him. spending billions of dollars to buy an app and then changing the app every time someone uses a feature of the app to insult him or hurt his feefees. dude straight up does the cartoon steam blowing out of ears train whistle shit irl every time someone says anything mean to him or is transgender but whats terrifying is he has enough money to do anything he wants and millions of chuds who would gladly no homo suck his cock every night before he goes to bed. like. how has someone come to be like this. why has this been allowed to happen why was he created

i think most rich guys are actually more like elon than they aren't, they all have simpering fanclubs online but enough haters to keep them up at night. i've seen a good half-dozen "richest man in X country" instagram accounts litigating their personal beef with some obscure shitposter who won't stop trolling them. they run the world but everyone doesn't love them so they're not happy

this is the richest guy in africa and his mortal enemy, a bored brazilian man

Um yeah how about you go pluck some bitches

everyone in the angry mob thinks they're going to be the one to stab the frankenstein with their pitchfork or burn him with their torch. but realistically only a couple get to

was talking to my gf about my fear of dying young for being trans and my mom putting my deadname on my gravestone, and she said "i hope that never happens, but if it does, i will carve your name into your grave myself if i have to." and i think theres something extremely raw about that sentiment and trans community in general. you can kill only our bodies, but you cant kill transsexuality

APPOINT SOMEONE ELSE AS YOUR NEXT OF KIN

If you are over 18 and do not want your parents to have control over your body after you die or if you go into a coma or something, take that power away from them. They are your automatic next of kin unless you get married which is why they have control over those things. But getting married isn’t the only way to change that, an advanced directive can do the same. This video has more information

Reblog if you love “family dinner time.”    

You’re a bitch because you don’t have this url

"someone help me budget this my society is dying"

"spend less on harrassing children"

"no"