i knew life turned to shit when i stopped seeing the tuesday again? no problem dog every week

i hope your tuesday is fine

Pavitr and Miles cooking together except Pavitr doesn’t like cooking with people and Miles is so used to cooking with people but still managing to stay out of the way bc his mom also doesn’t really like cooking with people but still wanted her son to learn from a young age how to cook. So you just have Miles doing acrobatics on the tightrope that is Pavitr’s kitchen aid tolerance and baffling anyone else who wants to help but gets shoved out the kitchen

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

you’ve got to be jeff the kidding me

gotta be one of my favorite reblogs

Just reminding, possibly informing some of you, that you do not need me or any other writing blog to create a good or successful story. We all like providing helpful information, but we can also get in your way.

All this advice can and should be taken with a grain of salt per creative work. Some rules apply to a lot of writing styles, but not all! Some stories need to break rules, most won't.

Don't let "advice" become "law" and definitely don't let it overwhelm you or your writing. Accept that excellent storytelling will always follow set paths because that's how humans process information (which is why we still admire very old stories), but don't rigidly follow those paths if you don't want to. The "rules" are sometimes as fictional as the stories

time to go a little insane about we know the devil again

She is silly

Someone in an autism facebook group I'm in just asked "How am I supposed to earn enough to make a living without burning out?"

Someone replied: "You're not. Even neurotypicals can't right now in the system designed for them. We're the canaries in the coalmine. When we start failing, they know something is wrong."

*through almost incoherent sobbing* WHAT ARE RICKYS CATS SUPPOSED TO DO NOW WAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

you didnt put a nametag on your boyfriend and he despawned. sorry.

Discussion Questions

@experimentaldata

Tags that made me choke on my energy drink

everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.

i'm no longer mentally ill, this image exists

Edward Carpenter (1844 – 1929). Early gay rights advocate who lived openly with his lover, George Merrill (1867–1928). They had a home in the English countryside, made socks and sandals fashionable, and were pretty much the originators of cottagecore.

His Wikipedia article, for further reading.

George Merrill gave us the greatest and gayest work of art, the book Maurice by patting E.M Forster on the bum.

Additional things I have gleaned from his Wikipedia article:

I begin to ask: who *didn’t* travel all the way to new jersey once to dick down Walt Whitman

if he had been born today he would be writing hockey rpf

if he had been born

today he would be writing

hockey rpf

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

i hate motherfuckers who base their whole personality on the sum experience of their formative years + the people they mostly interact with + some key impactful events in life + a small amount of traits they were just born with + their current interests and some other stuff probably. so fucking annoying...

and they were the best of friends forever

hyperfixation sucks I think just a little too hard about a guy who isn't even real and I could start crying any second