when you're a child and you stay up past your bedtime you get punished by your parents, when you're an adult and you stay up too late you just get punished by the ghosts and spirits and demons and such
Oh damn guys my brain is making thoughts
Hrrrrggghh (sound of me thinking)
Wizard Snap-back
you people will reblog anything
voiced it <3
i like the genre of animal photos where you can tell they just dipped their face into a carcass and they dont even care (artistic interpretation)
[Image ID: The poem “One Source of Bad Information”, by Robert Bly. There’s a boy in you about three years old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirty Thousand Years. Sometime it’s a girl. The child had to make up its mind How to save you from death. He said things like: “Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.” You live with this child, but you don’t know it. You’re in the office, yes, but live with this boy At night. He’s uninformed, but he does want To save your life. And he has. Because of this boy You survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas. Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you.
/end id]
Screeeeching at this meme a girl I went to high school w posted recently
mintmagicwizard
story time
they used to give us 15 minutes to do the mile, which meant you could walk it and still qualify if you watched your pacing
one time we were doing the mile and my buddy (a japanese-american goth music nerd guy who wore fishnets and stuff to school) ran by me, huffing and puffing, which was weird because he usually did it in a half hour walk
i was on pace to finish in 14 minutes 30 seconds, walking in solidarity with my friends even tho i grew up playing all the sports and could have easily run it, because fuck school and fuck gym class in particular
Anyway i see my buddy (we didn’t hang out much in school but we grew up playing together because we lived on the same block) i see him go by hauling ass, high-key unusual, so i cranked up to a run, caught up to him, and asked him what the hell
So he tells me (in a gasping sort of way) that the gym teacher, a terrible bully who was always riding me and my friends, was once again giving him shit about never qualifying on the mile and my friend reminds him that he’s excused by a doctor, and the gym teacher basically called him a faker and threatened to fail him if he didn’t run
“so i got a couple of us witnessed that…. and now i’m gonna give myself a fucking asthma attack… because i’m fucking sick of this shit all the time… fuck that motherfucker… i hope i goddamn die on him”
the school wound up having to call an ambulance, he coughed up actual blood and passed out
the gym teacher got suspended over it, when he came back he stopped fucking with the un-athletic students. And my buddy didn’t even have to show up at all for gym class for the rest of the year. School legend
i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck
How the fuck does his have less than 200k after setting the internet on fire for months
This lack of notes is probably a big part of why TikTok seems to think they invented the meme.
They think WHAT?!
my mom loves to lie and like she always swears she was NEVER homophobic or anything to me as a child “i even have a gay work friend” but a really funny memory resurfaced recently where i asked if i could use birthday money i had to buy a rainbow flag when i was like ??? 7?? because i LOVED rainbows. and she said no that means something Evil and god will hate you . so what did i do. but ask my grandmom for a rainbow sweater for christmas and proceed to only wear that sweater for three years when it got cold because i didnt like the idea that god hated colors and i wanted to challenge him
normal 7 year old with religious trauma: oh no god can hear my thoughts and punish me
me: either you are wrong about god or god is wrong and i will fight him and i will be the one to find out
me at 7: he would not fucking say that
We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky
i know 196 is a reddit thing but like. what does it mean. what do those numbers represent
r/196 is (was?) the successor subreddit to r/195.
r/195 was just a place for some roomates to post memes, and it was named after their apartment number. There was only one rule: if you visit the sub, you must make a post before leaving. The sub eventually grew in popularity, the original members couldn't keep up with the demands of moderating it, and they closed it down. Soon after, r/196 was born and eventually far outgrew its progenitor.
r/196 also kind of just organically grew into a left-leaning, LGBTQ+ positive space. This was possibly helped because at the start, the only available user flair (a little phrase or icon that appears by your username on posts and comments) was "trans rights".
oh my god the king of norway from 1046 to 1066 harald iii aka hardrada hi thank you so much welcome to tumblr in the year 2023
Thank you, my thane, for the kind welcome! If only the rest of my subjects were as loyal as lathiat! Truly all that other vikings know today is how to polish their armor and drink mead. They can't even navigate by the stars or raid a monastary!
hahaha! *quickly glances at harald iii of norway's wiki*
couldnt be me! im extremely loyal and i love invading places for my king! *wipes sweat from my forehead*
