pileofmonkeys

Know what else is funny? I know almost all of you on other platforms, but I can’t remember who’s who most of the time.

y i k e s

I am fascinated by how he seems to think this isn’t pathetic and embarrassing, just like, quirky

Replace all cringe compilations with this article

“By Day 4, I was eating tuna from a can with pretzel sticks.”

Ban straight men.

The white hot rage I felt reading this...

Joyce Fienberg, 75

Richard Gottfried, 65

Rose Mallinger, 97

Jerry Rabinowitz, 66

Cecil Rosenthal, 59

David Rosenthal, 54

Bernice Simon, 84

Sylvan Simon, 86

Daniel Stein, 71

Melvin Wax, 88

Irving Younger, 69

May their memories be a blessing.

“Male incompetence is tolerated far more than female ineptitude.

Our society has a number of loveable buffoons who fool around and are excused from acting like prats because they’re funny. They might be rubbish at most things but as long as their banter is flowing, we put up with it.”

“While I’ve dated some very domesticated guys who are far better than I at cooking and ironing, I’ve also had relationships with men who don’t even know how to cook porridge. Is that a result of being de-skilled as a child by overbearing mothers? Or is it a conscious choice not to hone ‘worthless’ skills because they know someone else will do it for them?

I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. Plenty of people are raised in boarding schools or by all-encompassing parents and have the gumption to learn to cook or at least Google how to throw a simple meal together (porridge is literally oats and milk or water – how hard can it be?). But those who choose to remain ignorant and then ask their girlfriends, wives, partners to do it for them are participating in a very subtle form of misogyny that burdens women with low-level emotional labour.

And that labour is even more thankless for young, unattached women than it is when it’s directed at mothers. The expectation that you’re supposed to have your own shit together as a young woman and be able to look after a fully grown man with whom you have no familial attachment is draining.”

me: oh yeah i’ll watch [insert mega popular easily-accessed netflix thing] at some point

me:

Doguins

Via Imgur

These are kind of unsettling, but I also want to pet all of them? Especially the husky ones.

@penguin-perversion

It’s a Piguin!

I’m re-watching Captain America Civil War and- They told Bucky to kill Tony’s parents without witnesses and he manages to find the probably only forest in the world with a random security camera by the road-side and kills them exactly in front of that security camera while looking right at said security camera when he disables it and also fails to make sure that the tape inside is destroyed how can you screw up so bad? 

imagine how many people Hydra had on staff specifically to follow him around, wiping cameras, picking up his 27 discarded weapons, paying off/killing that entire cafe he once strolled into at noon and shot a dude in.

the guy strolled down fuckin Main Street Washington with a grenade launcher, that “ghost story” reputation did not come easy.

I wondered that too - if he does everything like that attack on Fury how is he a fucking ghost-story?  Imagine that’s your job like: “Okay, you know how this works. We’re missing a rocket launcher, a mask, three hand-guns, the corpse of the target, two daggers with his finger-prints on them, the Asset’s mask and a helicopter. All of which are somewhere in [whatever city] and have to be retrieved in less than two hours. Go!” “Ermm…boss? There’s another YouTube video.” “He’s a brilliant assassin they said. The best there is they said.” For lack of a better explanation, I’ll attribute it to Bucky’s sub-conscious trying to make shit difficult for them.

*spooky sounds* i am a ghost story

was i even there?

u cant be sure

was that a breeze, or was it me?

u’ll never know…

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

Chris Evans behind the scenes of the May 2016 Rolling Stone shoot

the tags on this were utter gems so here are some of my faves

Essay time y’all – cause these tags are truth.  But one of my FAVORITE (and by favorite I mean the reason so many of his pictures fucking enthrall me) things about the way either he poses or the photographers pose him is that that the default for him doesn’t tend to be the WALL OF MAN imposing/daring someone to fuck with him poses that most photographers position men in, especially men who play superheroes.  Far more often you see him posed as photographers often pose women – S-curves (trace a line from shoulders to hips to waist to knees in that pic - it’s a feminine way to pose), shoulders slightly hunched forward, looking at the camera through his eyelashes, mouth slightly open.  They pose him to invite the viewer in instead of projecting out.  The way they pose him is a type of masculinity that isn’t trying so fucking hard and y’all my LOINS ARE HERE FOR IT.  

When I try to describe the type of masculinity that I find fucking appealing, it’s this.

(Look… y’all… if you haven’t seen his truckstop hooker photos from way back, do your loins a favor and find them)

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

The banter between Barnes and Barton in Tales of Suspense is fucking flawless.

A limited run is not enough!!!

I can’t fucking get enough of these two.

OH MY GOD

WHAT

WHO

HOW

I WAS NOT INFORMED?!???!?

@ouyangdan

I AM DYING

I AM

IT’S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED

All jobs involving customers are basically underpaid acting gigs.

new cryptid: tumblr users who have never changed their url