Chuck Tingle is out here being an ace ally.
Chuck Tingle said all our rights.
…omg.
I think it’s important we all remember this author became famous for writing gay “Dino-porn” erotica, and then proceeded to branch ever outward from that niche into political satire & social commentary erotica
The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.
Questions from the Notes:
Your grandparents were Druids, right? They were a Steel Worker and Head Clerk at the local grocery store, respectively.
How does a Horse run races the Wrong way? Get near the finish line then make a U-turn becuase he wasn’t done running yet. He was also an excellent jumper and swimming horse. Much happier being a trail horse on Cleveland’s Emerald Belt.
How does a St. Bernard hide in a small suburban house? Clever use of the space behind the couches, under the sink and under beds. For a 110lb animal, Gretchen was also very quiet and knew to wait until the house was empty to move from hiding spaces or to snitch food off the counters. Once her coat grew back in she was willing to be visible again.
The Tarantula Didn’t come froma pet store, did it? You know that stereotype about Tarantuals hiding in Bananas? That used to be a real thing that happened when bananas started being regularly available in Postwar mass market grocery stores. Not very often, but it did. Grandma found the tarantula in a shipment of Bananas, and being the only non-arachnophobe working in the store, took her home and named her “Carmen Tarantula” after the famous brazilian singer. Geography was not Grandma’s strong point
Carmen Tarantula lived for 3 years and juding by the extremely blurry polaroid in the family albums, was probably a Brazilian Black.
What do you mean Spooky was an “Alleged Dog”? Well, for one thing, she Meowed.
Spooky was a 35lb delicate-limbed dog with owl-like pale green eyes and bat-like ears that was solid black save for a white patch on her chest in exactly the shape of Casper The friendly ghost, which was the only part of her visible when she would roam the halls at night, which is how she got the name.
Spooky was living in the house at the same time as Dummy, Son Of Stupid and another more Prototypical cat named Needles. Dummy would sometimes forget what he was doing and get lost in the house, causing him to mewl pathetically until one of the humans or animals found and escorted him back to more familiar settings. Typically, Needles would meow back at Dummy until she found him.
After three weeks in the house, Spooky could do an astonishingly good Cat’s Meow as well.
Spooky could also open doorknobs, get into the attic which didn’t even have a human entrance, would sit up like a human to eat her dinner or watch TV, and had a peculiar penchant for fishing. Grandpa and Uncle popeye would regularly take her on fishing trips becuase she’d gleefully dive into the lakes and finish bringing the catch in, whether it were lake trout or pike or in one case, a strugeon.
Spooky also LOVED tomatoes. More than anything else in the world. If given a choice between a ribeye and a tomato, Spooky would chose the tomato every time. This only applied to raw tomatoes though, she despised ketchup.
So while very much shaped like one, Spooky gave the distinct impression of something else dressed up as a dog. Whatever she was, she was a loving and beloved companion to the family for 16 years.
If you enjoyed this story, you can check out my #Family Lore tag on my blog, or you can pre-order copies of the Family Lore Book containing many more stories on my Patreon. I am disabled and telling stories online is my primary source of income so if you share these please link back and consider donating to my Ko-Fi or PayPal. Thank you all for your support!
nice normal person i’ve just met: So what’s your youtube channel about?
me:
me: … book reviews
— Albert Camus, The Fall
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help.
If you are located in the United States, consider reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine.
If you are located in the United Kingdom, The Mix is here to help you with any challenge you are facing. Reach out online, on social or through their free and confidential helpline.
If you are reading this from in any other country in Europe, Mental Health Europe has compiled a list of helplines and other resources in your country.
For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.
So, I searched mourning and this popped up before the search results. Thank you tumblr crew, I appreciate you.
Maybe people who don’t have children actually do have an idea of how hard it is to raise children, and that’s why they don’t have children.
"I try to make commentary about, or poke fun at, social media. The balloons were a social media trope often used in bridal showers and gender reveals, so they were a natural progression of that idea. I love the contrast of profound, funny, or challenging quotes spelled in silly balloons. And since another common cliche is endless selfies, I tend to put myself in most of the photos. They often make people cringe, but the cringe is the point,“ Michael told Bored Panda.
I love these.
“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” - E.B. White (born: 11 July 1899)
First encounters.
Batman/Superman #3
#finally some good fucking retcon
God I thought I hated the idea of Bruce and Clark meeting as kids but this rules
Hilarious Bird Posts That Were Too Good Not To Share.
𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘄 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘄 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘄 𝗳𝗹𝘂-
how much scarier would a frog be if it ran instead of hopped .. u just hear plat plat plat plat coming towards u and u look down and it’s a frog going at full speed
I had a dream last night that I made a popular tumblr post that only said the following: reblog if you are the lizard hat. So you know what?
