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Just Starve

@pile-of-bones-ana-blog

14 yo | CW: 47kg | GW: 43 kg | UGW: 39 kg| struggling with bipolar disorder & depression
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foodisforprettypeople
I wish…
I wish my weight would drop as fast as my grades,
I wish my apetite would disappear like my friends.
I wish my thighs didn’t touch like no one touches or loves me.
I wish my jeans would be as loose as my skin.
I wish I were little, like my intrest in things.
I wish my fasts would as last long as my depression.
I wish my double chin would vanish like my will to live had.
foodisforprettypeople

i gotta talk to y’all about something.

i keep a massive “bmi” file. it has pics and gifs of models, ppls body checks, actresses, any time i see a pic that provides me the person’s measurements i save it. and i save all types: i have pics from ppl with bmis from ~13 to over 42. i currently have around 700 pictures.

i mostly do it bc i like to have a point of reference. i want to know what that bmi looks like, since just saying the number doesn’t really help me visualize it. i always add the bmi, the name of the person i took the pic from, their height, and their weight. i also add what weight i should have to achieve that bmi, bc i am that girl.

some interesting (at least to me) stuff i noticed:

  • most popular tumblr user’s pics are between bmis of 17.1 and 17.8. those pics get the most notes.
  • another popular body type lies between 18.0 and 18.5.
  • ppl also love 16.4 to 16.9.
  • gifs are 1000x more popular than pics and your average gif always seems to get >5x more notes than popular pics.
  • everybody is different!!! ofc i cant be sure the person isn’t lying about their stats but honest to god, i see ppl with bmis ~19s that look skinnier (in my eyes) than ppl with bmis ~16. and not just “one or two ppl”, it happens quite a bit.
  • a muscular ~16 looks a billion times skinnier than a soft ~16. the difference is unbelievable.
  • honest to god i feel like there’s not a lot of change once you reach 16.5 or so. literally i feel like even 13s look similar to 16.5s. plenty of 16s look thinner than 14s imo.
  • after reviewing the files i reached the conclusion that my personal taste is the best look is at the 18s. people look really hot by then, curvy but still thin. after 17.5 or so it starts going more towards “obviously sick”, which i find pretty as well but not as much as the hot bods. thats my personal opinion though.
  • breasts are almost universally gone by ~16. no one at that range looks bigger than a b cup (obv i cant tell for sure).
  • thinspics of the “upper arm bracelet” start showing up at high 16s.
  • prominent rib pics show up at around 19 sucking in and become really visible at 17.5 or so.
  • prominent hipbones without forcing are p much universal at low 15s, though a LOT of people have them at ~17. that seems to be the tougher milestone to reach.
  • i once wrote a post on what bmi ppl usually get their thigh gap and i was clearly damn right bc i see huge gaps at 20.5 and really small ones even at ~17.3. average is 19.5 or so, though.
foodisforprettypeople

When someone’s talking about weight loss and their information is totally incorrect but you don’t want to correct them cause you don’t want them to know how much you know about weight loss

pile-of-bones-ana-blog

it seriously works.

TRIGGERING !!!!

this is just a personal rant. i know not everyone feels the same. do not read this if you’re trying to recover from an ed.

i’m on my fourth day of not eating and i just want to say it literally works just not eating. i had a smoothie the other day because i felt like i was going to faint, and i genuinely feel lighter. anytime i’m hungry i chug water and i sleep. i’m 125 lbs right now and i started out at 132 a WEEK ago. (i gained weight after taking a break.) i feel more frail, and beautiful. it’s so easy once you realize it’s so easy to just not eat. just don’t go in the kitchen, don’t look at food, realize it’s not going to help you in anyway. it will just make me a fat cow. no one wants a fat cow. the other day my grandmother tried to force me to eat steak and i let my tongue touch it and it literally felt like it burned for some reason? like it was just way too much? so odd. i’ve started to like the feeling of almost passing out and my body being weak. i feel so proud when my stomach growls extremely loud. i can already feel my collar bones sticking out more. my ribs poking against my skin. i will be skinny.

i agree with you it really isn’t that hard, but the only reason i don’t not eat at all is becasue my sister did this a few years ago and once she started eating normally she gained even more weight than she was before and i know i won’t be able to starve my self forever so i’m trying to be in between completely starving myself and having a healthy balanced diet (just bc it takes too long) so i go for having about 700-1000 calories a day which is still less than half the amount i need for my body (being 5’11) but gives me enough energy to go through my day feeling good.