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Hi

@piephish

Caesar was a punk. If it had been me, I woulda seen those assassins coming a mile away. I woulda been like BAM! and knocked the knife outta Cassius's hand with karate. That's what I woulda done.

amateur hour. I would have convinced the assassins to love me and wish me well instead of yearning for my death. I'd do it with my gentle heart and forgiving nature and good ideas and it'd work every time, if it was me instead of Caesar

I woulda learned Kung Fu. I woulda killed them with ki blasts.

Nun chunks, etc.

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paradoxius

"He would not fucking say that" does not apply to Yoda. You could write the most batshit sentence and I could see him saying it if only to fuck with someone

Now. "He would not fucking say that seriously" does apply here

I hate that you're probably right I fucking hate it here

sdjsj stop I'm fucking cackling

"Contact my secret network of Jedi across Coruscant, I will. Tracing your IP as we speak, I am."

Post that have 10K notes in my heart.

Give it a minute.

We have to keep reblogging this so future historians will read it and puzzle endlessly over its meaning

The heavy implication that historical ‘abstract’ poetry that people have been analysing for ages without being able to conclude the meaning could have just been shitpost level in-jokes between poets is sending me.

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

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3fluffies

Dying.

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ciatri

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

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gayelectro

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

theory 1: baseball curses are real bc look what happened to the cubs and the red sox

theory 2: baseball curses are fake bc no one has ever cursed the yankees

theory 3 (synthesis): no one has successfully cursed the yankees bc they employ a cadre of dark wizards

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

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loseremo
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dunkstein

How the fuck does his have less than 200k after setting the internet on fire for months

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tparadox

This lack of notes is probably a big part of why TikTok seems to think they invented the meme.

They think WHAT?!

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utopians

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

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utopians

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

Mountnain Dew

My guy is out here opening his fourth eye and aligning the crown chakra’s crown chakra.

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elucubrare

one of the reasons why “what if people went on a road trip and it was weird” is one of the oldest story types is that a lot of sense of personhood has been, historically, tied to place. the weird road trip says “what if we went somewhere else, where no one knows us, and tried out being a different person”.

Odysseus, the famous liar, goes on a weird road trip & over the course of it becomes several different people, and then comes home & is all those people as well as himself, wearing the echoes of those other people

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toli-a

What’s that quote? There are only two kinds of stories: a man goes on a journey, or a stranger comes to town.