bro doesnt even have the jennies (certain je ne sais quois)

if you don’t have @ least one collection of specific items i literally have nothing more to say to you. we will never relate to each other. however, you cool ass motherfuckers who do collect @ least one type of thing, reblog this post and say what that thing is. i’ll go first: clown dolls and good luck charms

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

I think this is the funniest onion headline bar none

im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here

no more "she has the only braincell of the group". i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because theyre all we have left in this fucked up world

Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

Jimmy Budgett

Wasted away again in Meageritaville

i think i want a glass packer, it would give me an edge and add a lot of danger to my mundane life

dance too hard in the club and my dick flies out of my pant and shatters all over the floor

Cinderella

imagine kicking a guy in the dick and you hear a shatter

very sexy indeed

*tamp tamp*

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth

i respectfully request that we bring this meme back because i think it came before its time. we werent ready in 2013. i think were ready now

i just think it's neat that odysseus gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to avoid going to war and he can't do it and then agamemnon gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to go to war and he does it

you didn't think i'd leave you behind, did you?

I don’t like crucifixes where it’s ambiguous how Jesus is attached to the cross. I also don’t like statues of a tortured dying man, but the unpleasantness of that mitigated somewhat by seeing it so much. But this?

What’s keeping him there

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’s credits have almost exclusively Japanese people in them; but one name sticks out:

By searching around, people have found this forum post from 2007:

Follow your dreams.

reblog if ur proud of corey

He got a promotion for Tears of the Kingdom!!

oh wow

these are still the most hilarious