I saw this on instagram today and I thought it was funny so I want y'all to see it too

me every morning

story time.

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

I’m actually crying

When he says you’re overreacting

But he’s right tho

STFUUU 😂😂

MUST BE SUBSCRIBED TO ENTER! :D www.youtube.com/grav3yardgirl www.youtube.com/bananapeppers

WATCH THIS VIDEO TO SEE RULES/PRIZES! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRWA5HbNebk

When you were supposed to just Netflix and actually Chill

Twitter: @KhadiDon Instagram: @Khadi

Every Exorcism movie

Priest: Unholy demon, release this soul in the name of Jesus Chr–

Demon:

this sounded so nice until i read the italics

#me.

me in a horror movie

Ms Bean let’s hit it!!!! 😂😂😂😂 i laughed so hard at this.

me on my deathbed

DEAD! LMFAOOOO!!!!

look @ her dad’s face tho..LOL

mercury aqua rhapsody | mars flame sniper | jupiter oak evolution | venus love and beauty shock

My grandma would always x out people in her yearbook and write “Deceased” when one of her high school classmates died. We often found it morbid. Grandma wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.

That’s not a yearbook.

That’s a hit list.

me when summer starts

STOp

I love her

Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.