you would not believe your pants

if ten million fire ants

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

@cloncclub

Discourse: Willy Wonka is Old Testament God

Explain

Sings “if you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it,” then kicks people out for eating stuff he told them not to eat

GOD???? BI ICON???

does it ever drive you crazy 

but imagine how much dan and phil have talked about being best friends and how much communication they must have to be so secure in their relationship considering both of them have some type of anxiety and confidence issues and both of them being pretty young but already considering each other best friends in 2009 so early on in their relationship? 

I love how we all reacted pretty neutral when dan sacrificed phil to satan but exploded with feelings when he wore ripped skinny jeans and clear nail polish

ur not fooling anyone mr. fire

a few birthday tweets to tyler!!! happy 28th!!!

Sorry this isn’t the best but I tried and I’m also sorry for that awful pun 😂 but I hope you like this cheesy little thing I did. I love you lots Ethan and keep doing what you’re doing❤️ @crankgameplays

So I was casually watching a Dutch tv program and they were talking about video manipulation. The were talking about faceswapping and then started playing a @danisnotonfire and @amazingphil video.

Yes, I screamed

(video is linked, they’re in it from 4.05 till 4.25)

1-2-Switch with @danisnotonfire & @amazingphil was the most adorable yet disturbing thing ever :’) 

what in slow motion