how are these people not dead

Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die

dan tries out the lie detector

im at starbucks right now and some other person with a mac just put this word doc into my air drop???????????????? 

Did you say yes

my response:

tHEY JUST CALLED OUT A FRAPPUCINO FOR SWAG MONEY (thats the name of my computer on airdrop) IM GONNA CR Y

Romance in the 21st Tumblr century

oh no he didn’t

The Heterosexuals strike again

cover those skeleton tiddies

My cute little front ensemble plays the Gravity Falls theme. :’) (ignore the weird blur in the beginning)

that was awesome

this delights me

I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS VIDEO BUT I NEVER FOUND IT AGAIN BUT HERE IT IS YEEES

Connor in NYC

Chinese doctors bowing down to an 11 year old boy diagnosed with brain cancer who managed to save several lives by donating his organs to the hospital he was being treated shortly before his death.

This should go to history.

Go big or go home 

So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.

In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.

So I decided to try it

alrighty, let’s go one more step

i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Story of my life

that’s a first.

I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC

I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one

One late night, you are up in your bedroom when you hear your mom calling you downstairs. You are halfway down the staircase when all of a sudden, you see your mom in front of her bedroom door, terrified, she whispers, ‘Don’t go downstairs. I heard her, too.’

Who do you believe?

The one calling me downstairs. They’re lesbians, not ghosts.

one time this dude was being stupid so i said

“well you can’t spell stupid without u”

and he got really angry and shouted

“WELL THERE’S AN ‘I’ IN STUPID TOO”

and i just stared at him for a rly long time

prediction for the discourse in 2016

straight ppl start calling themselves gay cause “it actually means happy :)”

going on facebook and instagram either makes me cringe or really down????? whats happening. social media, kids. hate it.

if you dont believe in god thats fine but when extremely horrible things have happened and people are praying for the lost souls of children, it is not the time to speak up. it is not just “stating your opinion” it’s being an asshole

I reblog this as an atheist who really wishes other atheists would shut the fuck up and let people deal with tragedy in their own way that hurts no one.

Aaaaand the opposite is also true. If a horrible tragedy befalls an atheist, don’t try to use it as an opportunity to lead them to Jesus.

requested by daniestdanosaur 

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