suck it.

Life is one big yeehaw and then you die

im tired of u fake ratatouille fans thinking the rats name is ratatouille 

is there a German word for when you’re kicking a rock along a trail and eventually it’s come so far with you that you now have an emotional attachment to it

girl scout: hi how are yo-

me: thin mints

*is the heathen of the family*

mood ring contact lenses

this reads like a shit post but honestly this slaps

A sword that screams whenever you swing it, and the volume is directly tied with how fast its swung

Finally, a good post

if you don’t like black cats or pit bulls then get the heck away from me forever

*walks around my house looking for scissors while making a scissor motion with my fingers*

“why are you eating ice cream in the winter” BECAUSE ITS FUCKIN GOOD???

Don’t be afraid to destroy men’s lives over crimes they chose to commit.

LOUDER

i’m byesexual as in bye don’t touch me

therapist: how are you? me: fine how are you

ho ho holy shit it’s december first (1st)

i just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson 

Gay culture is trying to look like some kind of ephemeral amalgam of mythical spiritual beings, and like 11% of that is occupied by Tan France and Jonathan Van Ness, I swear

asking a white guy why he’s wearing open toe sandals in the middle of winter is slut shaming

haters will see you mind control them and be like i do not hate you any more

Maybe vampires seek out virgins because STDs make the blood taste bad.