never forget the time itachi trash talked kakashi during their first showdown with absolutely zero problem and then was like “KISAME WE NEED TO LEAVE” the second gai showed up

Reminder that every Uchiha is canonically terrified of the straight up ass whooping powerhouse that is Might Gai. Itachi decided to run away from Gai, Gai beat Obito’s ass twice, and Madara acknowledged Gai’s ability to absolutely crush him and his rib cage even though he was basically a ninja god.

Sasuke got completely squashed by Lee and never tried to get his win back because he knew better than to throw hands with Konoha’s beautiful green beast

@warlockrightsactivist you cant keep this in the tags

Something about men drinking coffee in their underwear is so casually erotic

Imma go out on a limb here and say that men doing just about anything in their underwear is casually erotic to you horny bastards

With all due disrespect anyone who thinks a full grown adult can survive off of 12$/hr in 2023 should die

Northern bat (Eptesicus nilssonii)

i would like to propose a new accessibility feature for movies where every time a brown-haired white man comes on screen they tell me which one he is

sorry dude i can’t hang out today. i saw someone online misinterpret my favourite piece of media. yeah i have to lay on the floor. yeah it’ll be all day.

i hope my unwashed hair and deer in headlights type stare has captivated you

SNOOP DOGG goes off-script in a conversation with Larry Jackson, formerly of Apple Music and current Co-Founder and CEO of Gamma, moderated by Shirley Halperin, Executive Editor of Variety Magazine at The Milken Institute. (May 3, 2023)

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that's what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

What makes Dr. Doofenshmirtz such a fun character is that he chooses to be evil as a career but in his day to day life he’s actually a very nice and considerate person. Unlike Francis Monogram.

Unionized labor vs unpaid labor, hmmmm.

i saw some children playing outside yesterday and ended up crying because ........ i once used to be that age

what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.

i see a medium sized rock and i’m like “god. i need to go stand on this and be 14 inches higher off the ground right now”

overheard from the girl in front of me at the smoke shop: "i've never met a mango i didn't like or a strawberry i wasn't cool with"

"I don't like the Jack Harkness test because it means it's okay to fuck Scooby Doo"

yes that's the entire damn point of the Harkness test. The Harkness Test doesn't exist to say you have to fuck Scooby Doo. The Harkness Test exists to say that it is morally/ethically fine for someone to want to fuck Scooby Doo, because Scooby Doo can give informed consent and communicate as such.

the reason you don't like it is because none of you are self-aware enough to realize how incredibly fucking puritan all of you are when it comes to fucking

Tumblr being free is humanity's greatest error.

Then pay me 20$ if you feel so strongly about it

Tumblr is a free website where I am paid $20

Did you just scam someone outta their money? And it WORKED?

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

everyone look at these namaki drawings that my friend @lakefama drew i’m crying

i’m already inclined to care for vampires. by default. it’s in my nature. then you give them ptsd? well we’re bonded for life now. So sorry