feverish and forsaken. on my second glass of mulled wine. never kill yourself

hello child born between the end of the 1990s and beggining of the 2000s, welcome to my saw trap. in front of you is a computer, you can learn to code and guarantee yourself the only career that will be available in a couple of decades, or you can play around on ms paint and develop a beautiful creative mind that will starve to death forever, you have a few years to choose but by the time you do it'll be too late

Happy birthday Max!☺️🥳

pausing mid thrust to open tumblr.com to delete the celibacy gif I reblogged 2 weeks ago

Why are they in Hell

because if you have sex you will die and go to hell

once again participating in No December November, where the challenge is to abstain from december for the entire month of november

Hm… Mario’sa saw an ad in the newspaper for’a part time job! Mario’sa gonna take it! It’a seems like easy pay! Yahoo!

First’a night on the job, everyone!

Why are they moving.

normalize having favorites. in fact, normalize me being your favorite. normalize loving me more than you’ve ever loved anyone else. please please please please please please

i’m feeling like jennifer when she hadn’t eaten a boy in a while

enough mpreg. give him mpostpartum depression

frankenstein (1818)

fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

websites prior to like the 2010s: sign in with your username and password

websites now:

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

it's not possible to be a crazy cat lady living on her own anymore. because of the housing crisis

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten