I’m dying 😂

The amount of dedication in the voice actor is unreal

me

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

fuckin MOOD

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

Lyrics: 

I’ve tried, tried, tried And I’ve tried even more  I’ve Cried, Cried, Cried And I can’t recall what for I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged In hope of some success  But the inevitable fact is that It never will impress 

I’ve no more fucks to give,   My fucks have runneth dry,  I’ve tried to go fuck shopping  But there’s no fucks left to buy  I’ve no more fucks to give,  Though more fucks I’ve tried to get,  I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt 

I strive, strive, strive  To get everything done  I’ve played by all the rules But I’ve very rarely won, I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail I’ve run round like a moron, To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck fuse has just blown, I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, But they’ve upped and fucked off home, I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck rations are depleted, I’ve rallied my fuck army but It’s been fucking defeated! 

The effort has just not been worth The time or the expense I’ve exhausted all my energy  For minimal recompense The complete lack of acknowledgement  Has now begun to gall And I’ve come to realise that I  Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have flown away, My fucks are now so fucked off They’ve refused to fucking stay! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have gone insane They’ve come back round and passed me While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all dissolved, I’ve planned many projects But my fucks won’t be involved! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all been spent, They’ve fucked off from the building And I don’t know where they went! 

I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks to give!

Good news folks it’s on Spotify!!!

im going to be reblogging this every few hours to make sure every single one of my followers gets to see this epic post

Uh…

“We had dorm rooms next to each other freshman year.  We mainly just played a lot of board games: Risk, Scrabble, Scattergories, a Trivial Pursuit game from the 1980’s, which everyone sucked at.  But we became best friends, and the next year decided to get a house together.  That’s when things started to get tense.  We began sitting closer together.  We were touching more.  We’d play with each other’s hands.  Never holding hands, but playing with hands.  And we’d even fall asleep in the same bed together.  There was a time that she told me goodnight, and I swear I felt her brush my lips, but by the time I opened my eyes she was out of the room.  Neither of us had ever dated a woman.  And I was terrified to try anything.  We were such good friends.  There was always this fear that if I voiced the desire, it would ruin our friendship.  But one night we were out for drinks at a hotel where Al Capone used to stay.  I was feeling pretty drunk, so I leaned over and said: ‘Sometimes I feel like I want to kiss you.’  And she replied: ‘Sometimes I do too.’  I didn’t say a thing.  I wasn’t even sure that I’d heard her correctly.  I just kept thinking: ‘Oh my God, it’s happening.  It’s happening.’  Then once we finished our drinks, and started walking home, I stopped her in front of a bridge.  I said: ‘Shall we do it here?’  It was December 12th, 2002.  And even though we got married five years ago, that’s the day we celebrate as our anniversary.”

The duolingo owl, cocking a gun in the distance because i havent practiced french in a few months

So pretty.

this is the only video we need in 2019

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important message

it irritates me to no end when people say north american birds are dull in comparison to other countries’ birds

blue jay

american kestrel

painted bunting

yellow-throated vireo

cerulean warbler

baltimore oriole

american goldfinch

northern cardinal

x

You’re forgetting the red wing black bird and the great and snowy egret. Best birds of the marsh!

I love how they’re all looking into the camera like they’re modeling.

other beautiful featherbeasts include orb bird

stylish accessory bird

loud and delicious bird

bird that will kung fu your face while you are grilling in your backyard

overly dramatic fishwizard bird

demonic creepy noise duck

assorted sky-cats

screaming inflatable doofus bird

stump

not technically native but it poops on my lawn

toasted marshmallow friend

@bunjywunjy

we’re getting a little off-topic from brightly-colored birds, so let’s give it up for:

the INDIGO BUNTING

the MOUNTAIN BLUEBIRD

the REGULAR EASTERN BLUEBIRD

the BARN SWALLOW

and STELLAR’S JAY

this post has been brought to you by the color blue, thank you and goodnight

i LAUGH EVERY TIME I SEE THIS FUCKING PICTURE

ring ring

HELLO??? captain haddock asks, shoving the shower head against his face as water shoots out of it. HELLO??

Ok mais la version française est encore mieux avec “Allô ?” (à l'eau)

I’m so disappointed that this pun doesn’t translate

me irl

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