me *throwing bread at ducks*: do not forget this act of altruism. if i am ever in trouble i expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget

oh yeah well what if trains entering tunnels didn’t symbolise sex, in fact what if sex symbolised railway engineering, how about that huh

everything is about sex, except sex, which is about trains

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

I AM the god of garbage

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

I literally just spent $1700….

It would solve my life

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

guess who ingested some foreign objects!

also he has now been officially weighed and he clocks in at a whole 7 pounds. (hes not malnourished hes just leetle)

bastard man ate some rubber bands

hi im sorry but “patient: the void” is the greatest string of letters ever created

ikr, I died when my mom sent me that picture

wow okay this got a lot of notes overnight

yes my cats name is The Void and for good reason because most of the pictures we try to take of him end up like this

and yes he is in that last picture ^^ youre gonna need to jack the screen brightness up to find him

or alternatively:

mr. void, would you like to meet the abyss?

twin agents of darkness

This is so cute.

This is Immunity Cat's big sister, Immunity Serval

 Immunity Serval will protect you and your loved ones from “of you don’t reblog -bad thing will happen-” threat posts. If you see Immunity Serval on your dash then she’s already guarding you.

the mother called her babies just for me ;;;

Blessed.

the most blessed, pure thing…

amazon bring me….my child

SON???????????

He’s ok just wrinkly

he was vacuum sealed

I can’t believe that the two greatest party songs of all time (I Gotta Feeling and Party Rock Anthem) came out within two years of each other and mankind will never create a better party song

Some people have been defending various other party songs in the notes, and while I respect all of your opinions, the only song that can qualify as a POTENTIAL exception is Tik Tok by Ke$ha

What about Allstar, great for every occasion

All Star is, in my opinion, the Greatest Song of All Time™ and while it great for every occasion, the three above are the best suited for parties. Like rich chocolate is good for every dessert, but milk goes better with Oreos than more chocolate, ya know?

I was not ready for such an educated response but completely agree

I come prepared for this discourse

oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

i dont trust birds. fuckin hollow bones. suspicious. what are you hiding in there

fuck. shit. youre right. fuck.

N U N   R A V E

BLESS THIS MOSH PIT

“Drop the blessed bass sister Mary Bethel!”

(source)

sorry the what? the what moray

scientist: let’s call you the… goldentail

banana eel: [bites scientist]

scientist: Okay motherfucker, new idea:

fun fact: The last supper would have been more like this, according to tradition:

so casual i love it

a sleepover with jc and the boys

Paul: Judas truth or dare??

Judas: dare

Paul: okay lmao I dare u to kiss JC

Jesus: ok your turn peter truth or dare

Peter: truth

Jesus: would you ever betray me peter

Peter:

Jesus:

(a few days later)

Peter: *betrays Jesus*

Jesus:

Jesus: *returns*

Peter: “Jesus… you’re back ?”

Jesus:

I’m crying

Love when my cat flings himself into the air after a toy, but he has no style. Straight up ragdoll physics.

One day i want to take a video of Yardstick straight-up hurling himself into the void. Cats have no conception that there is a future. There is just now and the jingly toy.

Your cat’s name is Yardstick?

He has three feet.

Not to be dramatic or anything but this is the best scene on television history

I swear to god if Andre Braugher doesn’t get a fucking emmy for this episode i’m going to go down there and murder every emmy voter.

Give this man the Emmy and the Oscar for the way he says “…where anything can mean anything…”

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

A classic | he was fuckin it up 😂

So then I found this and it all made sense

And i found god in this gamestop

You guys just got footage of the real Spiderman